Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

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Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.

We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...

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Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces. Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in...

Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts

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The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...
Knickersw with Trump written on them

Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media

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  White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the...
Farage

Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal

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Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.
Sandi Toksvig

Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...

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Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was...

Farage either ‘Innumerate’ or ‘Hypocritical Dickwad’ says Brian Cox

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Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.  "Farage has spent months...

Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.

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US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

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A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils...

Cliff Richard still not a nonce confirms BBC

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Singer, God-botherer and long term bachelor for no particular reason is still not suspected of fiddling with young men, according to a BBC report. The...

Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar

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Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...

Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

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A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...
Drinking Wine

Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices

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Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon...
Southern Rail

British Airways Awarded Southern Rail Franchise

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British Airways CEO Alex Cruising has spoken at his joy over the airline being awarded the shambolic Southern Rail Service. "We can do this." He...
UKIP

Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains

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Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...

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