Nigel Farage very kindly visited Steven Woolfe in his hospital bed in Strasbourg today.

Sources close to Nigel told the Herald that Mr Woolfe and Mr Farage are VERY good friends.

“Obviously Nige wants to do anything he can to make Steve feel better. He did get punched by a fat bloke from Hull. A hand shandy seemed the least he could do.”

Nigel apparently became expert at “burping the worm” at Dulwich College in the 1970’s.

Mr Woolfe is spending a second night in hospital after losing a fight he apparently started. He’ll do well as leader of UKIP with a record like that.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.