Singer, God-botherer and long term bachelor for no particular reason is still not suspected of fiddling with young men, according to a BBC report.

The Beeb, who aren’t at all bitter after they got a public spanking over reporting Richard’s home being searched, reported today the fact that one the vic- the accusers has asked for a review on the CPS decision to not follow the case further or press charges.

The fact that one of the four victi- accusers has asked for review doesn’t change the facts, a BBC spokesman insisted:

“Nobody is insinuating that just because one of the vic- accusers happens to have insisted that the decision be reviewed that this implies that Cliff Richard is a nonce after all. We want to make it quite clear that our mentioning in reports that Cliff Richard might not be out the woods yet- not that we’re saying he hangs round woods like some nonce- doesn’t mean we’re saying he’s a nonce. Just in case you’re wondering, the official BBC position is: Cliff Richard is definitely not a nonce. Probably.”

The CPS declined to comment.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.