Goveid-19 now ‘out of control’ in UK.
A new, highly infectious virus - Goveid-19 - has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed.
Goveid-19 was...
Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man.
"I get that being mortal is terrifying...
E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found.
The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...
Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...
Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots.
In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies
Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband. That all changed a...
Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat
For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.
I’m not against loonies, I gave Boris a job says May
A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was...
Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.
Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men
A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men.
Although...
Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week.
The decision comes in a week...
