Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked.
"Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Creator of Sitcom-Only Medical Procedure Heimlichs Out
US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96.
Dr Heimlich died at a hospital in...
Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%
Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS.
After winning the right...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered
With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them.
Will Coronavirus be as...
If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt
The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
You can’t lock up surgeons for behaving like sociopaths, we’d have none left rules...
The NHS breathed a deep sigh of relief today after Judge Ian Pringle QC ruled that you can't send surgeons to prison just for behaving like coked up sociopaths.
Stressed nurses sick of sick people
Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...
