Its not Lupus.

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Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them...
Chris Witty

Chris Witty signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Andrex toilet paper

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Chris Witty has shocked fans around the world after signing a multi-million pound, multi-decade deal to become the new face of Andrex bog roll. The...

Morrissey spends days in bed

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Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

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In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

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The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Theresa May

Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day

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Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe. Mrs May...
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”

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A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

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Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...

NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy

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The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision. NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...

Doctors desperately hoping Rees Mogg falls ill

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Following Jacob Rees-Mogg's bullying tirade on a doctor who dared challenge his smug assertions on talk radio, many people have challenged the pusillanimous human...

Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...

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A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

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A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...
Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

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Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

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