Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel

United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove to celebrate New Year’s Eve with simple meal of live mice and...

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Michael Gove has confirmed that he will be spending New Year Eve at home for quiet night in with his eggs. The environment secretary has...
Babybel

Criticism as Babybel announces ‘Baby Cheeses’ advent calendar

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The company that makes Babybel cheese has faced criticism from a right wing group over its "Baby Cheeses" advent calendar. The company had announced the...
Arron Banks

Arron Banks demands police enforcement of EU data privacy laws

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Arron Banks has taken a day off from calling for Britain to leave the EU so it can be free from the interference of...

Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery

A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...

When is an aircraft carrier just a carrier?

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Britain's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was commissioned today in Portsmouth. The new carrier is at the cutting edge of British warship design and...
Man buying a wheel

I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men

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Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping. "If I start shopping at...
Hobnobs

McVities recall 100,000 packets of Hobnobs after putting chocolate on wrong side

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Biscuit giant McVities have issued an urgent product recall of their chocolate hobnob range, after it was found that a recent batch of the...
Afro

Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott

Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot. Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...

Met office issue ice warning in winter

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As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...

Labour forced to suspend MP Jared O’Mara after it was revealed he considers Jaffa...

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Sheffield MP Jared O’Mara has found himself in extremely hot water today as fresh evidence of controversial views and opinions have been found on...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

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Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...

Gary Glitter to crowdfund trip to Thailand

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Popular paedophile, Gary Glitter is alleged to be considering crowdfunding a trip to Thailand for when he gets out of prison. A spokesperson said, "The...

Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry

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A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...

Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole

An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole. Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...

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