Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day
Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day.
“Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
Tories announce mass culling of Wombles
Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Husband Goes Shopping Buys Everything on List
A woman from Cleckheaton told The Rochdale Herald today how her husband went shopping, with a list, and returned an hour and a half...
Man believes in equality because he has daughters
A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...
May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn
Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
Man who forgot to take smartphone to loo with him makes full recovery
A bloke who forgot to take his iPhone to the toilet with him this morning has made a “complete” recovery following “breakthrough” treatment with...
The woman who managed to get thirty hours free childcare from HMRC to enter...
The woman who managed to get thirty hours free childcare using the HMRC has been thrown out of MENSA for being “too clever” and...
Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco
A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves.
At...
Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers
Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...
Tears of remainers used to put out Saddleworth Moor fire
Lancashire Fire Brigade have announced they're considering using the tears of remainers to put out the flames on the top of Saddleworth Moor.
Fire Officer...
Women who can close car doors can crash cars too, chuckles Duke of Edinburgh
Palace sources reveal Philip's delight at Meghan's unusual approach to royal protocol
Arriving at the Royal Academy of Arts to attend her first solo event...
Gatwick drone operators arrested after shootout at abandoned church and ski-doo chase across frozen...
A team of former special-forces mercenaries have been arrested in connection with the criminal use of drones which has caused the widespread disruption to...
