Fireman Sam denies having ever met Norman Price
Pontypandy fireman, Fireman Sam has again denied having ever met Norman Price on more than 3 occasions. The denial comes amidst growing calls for...
Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm
The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...
Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun
Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...
Street prices hits £2 a hit in Glasgow as addicts stockpile Irn Bru
Street pushers in Glasgow have been demanding up to £2 for a hit of Irn Bru as addicts have started stockpiling ahead of a...
Corbyn’s cat is a Tory
Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory.
Corbyn...
People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported
The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the...
Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake
A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
To a POTUS – a poem by Rabbi Burns
To a POTUS
Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick,
that makes the people aw feel sick,
who has a little tiny dick
and a big red button
He's welcome not...
Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Farage to become economic migrant.
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA.
Apparently...
Government launches electric car scrappage scheme to combat CO2 shortage
In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...
In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
Last week’s news roundup
Head of Britain First, Paul Golding, was arrested and sentenced to prison for obsessively visiting places he supposedly hates. He reportedly hates prison too...
