Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP
Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
People who make flammable models to face higher standard of justice than people who...
The people who burnt a model of the Grenfell tower on bonfire should face a much higher standard of justice than the people who...
Let’s get this over with Says Queen
Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot".
Her worshipfulness...
Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year
Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year.
With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag
Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday.
Sir Paul was the first man to...
Theresa May – the facts
Theresa May - the facts
She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10
2. She...
Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory
Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat.
Mrs May is telling everyone they need...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan
The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan.
Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...
Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm
Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight.
It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...
Trump thwarts Milnrow knife attack.
Diners in a Milnrow curry house were astonished as the 45th (and probably last) President of the USA stopped an armed bandit carrying out...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
