Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...
MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s
MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...
KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe
KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu.
Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Piss levels dangerously low after 2016 took it all – study finds
A study into the efficiency of waste management facilities across the UK has revealed a dramatic decline in the levels of liquid waste being...
Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom
The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording.
Filming of the BBC...
Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger
Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...
Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...
Queen’s Speech delayed as Elizabeth II seeks treatment for stress related Tourette’s
Security has been increased at King Edward VII hospital, where it is believed her Majesty the Queen is currently undergoing treatment for an acute...
Man still wearing shorts admits his legs are cold
Tom Hodgkins of Heywood today admitted that wearing shorts in winter is a bad idea and his leg are cold.
We caught up with Tom,...
We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...
Sam Allardyce to step in as caretaker princess for rest of season
Following the news that Harry and Meghan were to take a "step back" from Royal duties, Buckingham Palace made a swift move and have...
Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends
Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...
Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force
The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Mime artist finds way out of glass box
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box.
There was...
