Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

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A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a...

Church still rich, poor still poor

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Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown. The news will come as no surprise...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

First shipment of British thoughts and prayers arrives in Barbuda

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A cargo plane has touched down in Barbuda, carrying the first consignment of thoughts and prayers from the people of Britain. The jet touched down...

Sick Home Sec sacked?

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Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving...

Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year

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In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...
Car Crash

Uber to consult UK Government for advice on dealing with driverless car crashes

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Following the tragic death of a pedestrian knocked down by a driverless Uber vehicle, the taxi giant confirmed it would be consulting UK Government...

Annual day of disappointment for fathers receiving crap presents

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It's Father's Day and an annual day of depression for men across the nation as fathers are expected to sit, smile and feign appreciation...

Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief

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In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

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The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

Satirists run out of ink

Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove escaped ‘after gate left open’

Whitehall: A Conservative cabinet minister who went on the loose for about six hours after escaping from his enclosure has been safely recaptured. The animal,...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

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Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Amber Rudd

I’m glad she can spend more time with family, says deported Brit who won’t...

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Amber Rudd has resigned as Home Secretary, saying she "inadvertently misled" MPs over which policies of her predecessor, Theresa May, she was continuing to...

Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun

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Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...

Scientists reveal 2016 to be a fake year

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It has been established by scientists at Rochdale Community University that 2016 was the result of an illegal artificial intelligence experiment.  Herr Dr Professor Doktor...

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