Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...
A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...
Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco
A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves.
At...
Police chiefs launch captive breeding programme in bid to boost officer numbers
Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in...
Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car
A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas
A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on...
Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population
The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...
Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike
Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada.
His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...
Polite man starves to death whilst holding door open for ungrateful strangers
A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John...
Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC.
Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Man gets straw into Capri Sun first go
A bloke from Rochdale is being praised as some kind of wizard today after getting a straw into a Capri Sun on his effort.
Ryan...
Maggie May announces snap election
Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election.
"Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...
MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s
MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Green Cross Code Man killed in hit and run tragedy
The Green Cross Code Man has been killed in Rochdale in a terribly ironic tragedy involving a silent Ocado electric delivery van and a mobile phone.
To a POTUS – a poem by Rabbi Burns
To a POTUS
Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick,
that makes the people aw feel sick,
who has a little tiny dick
and a big red button
He's welcome not...
