Martin Roberts Demands Recount.
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity
Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking.
12...
UKIP call for Global Warming referendum
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Last week’s news roundup
Head of Britain First, Paul Golding, was arrested and sentenced to prison for obsessively visiting places he supposedly hates. He reportedly hates prison too...
Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...
Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded.
The gazillionaire, famous...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Unwanted crap in loft briefly sees light of day during house move
A VHS video recorder that has been languishing in the loft of a house in Middleton briefly saw the light of day this afternoon.
The...
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16
Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto
The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto.
Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Rochdale Herald exclusive – Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice’s wedding
In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week.
7am - Woken up by...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
