Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

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Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...

Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals

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The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

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Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...

Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000

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The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.

1st of January 2017 to start with Bobby Ewing taking a shower

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World leaders, academics, leading  scientists and philosophers made the decision at a secret summit in Denver Colardo yesterday. Simon Johnson, a leading Economist and auther...
Tony Blair

We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake

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Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...

Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun

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The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler. One reader commented, "It's strange that...
Kirkcaldy

Scotsman wakes to sobering horror that he lives in Kirkcaldy

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A Scotsman has been telling people of the dawning horror that he still lives in Kirkcaldy. A reporter for The Rochdale Herald Scotland edition said,...

Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead

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Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

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A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

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The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death...

May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn

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Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
BBC Question Time

Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom

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The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording. Filming of the BBC...
M25

First M25 user leaves Thatcher’s Hell road after 30 years

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Albert J Bilsborough, 63, has finally left the M25 after 30 years, after also being amongst the first motorists to enter the hell road. The...
Corbyn

Revealed: your top 5 favourite ways to explain Corbyn losing a general election to...

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Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

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Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 

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