Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday
A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
TFL confirms London Underground to be extended to Scotland by 2021
London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost...
Fat Controller to be renamed Big Boned Team Leader in Thomas revamp’
Anti-bullying & equality campaigners have praised plans by children's show Thomas the Tank Engine to highlight modern issues in the latest series of the...
Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC.
Mr. Henry was the...
?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...
Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place
The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election.
An inside source...
May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious...
Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned
People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way.
Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...
Britain’s oldest man, Paul Nuttall, has died.
Sir Paul Nuttall, VC, OBE, Ph.D, passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday, hours before his 108th birthday.
Sir Paul was the first man to...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Swiss banks confirm Theresa May’s walking holiday was great for business
"Normally we only get foreign potentates, third world dictators, drug magnates and the odd closet Nazi holidaying here," said Herman Gnom, spokesman for Zurich's Lavamatbank explaining that footage of a genuine prime minister - even one with no majority, no mandate and about to be deposed by her own party has been a huge boost for Swiss banks' credibility.
RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...
In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank...
To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate
Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things.
Again.
After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...
