Pensioners

It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...

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British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics. Research released by...

Man who said homeopathy should be available on the NHS attends first chemistry lesson

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The man who said that Homeopathy should have a place on the NHS as it compliments science based medicine as they both come from...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

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After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
bus driver

Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...

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Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices. Up and down the country local bus drivers...
Theresa May

Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance

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Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street. A...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

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Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

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The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...

Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode

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The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt. The, ironically...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan leads star studded sing along to F**k Tha Police

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Piers Morgan shared a video on Tuesday night showing him and other self-quarantined celebrities singing NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" "Hi guys.  Day who knows what...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

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The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...
Spaniel

Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door

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A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...

Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”

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All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space. UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

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Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...

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