Captain Tom finally able to pay Wonga loan off

0
Captain Tom Moore is reportedly thrilled that his fundraising has been so successful that he's finally able to pay off a loan he took...

Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police

0
The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
Tube Chat

Tube chat badges surprisingly successful

0
Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success,...

Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months

0
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

0
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...

Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...

0
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

0
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...
Paul Nuttall

Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election

0
NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

0
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

People who speak in cliches to be removed from breeding population

33
Sociologists and linguists from Rochdale Community University have discovered that Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed conspiracy theorist, speaks almost entirely in cliches. "We first heard...

1st of January 2017 to start with Bobby Ewing taking a shower

0
World leaders, academics, leading  scientists and philosophers made the decision at a secret summit in Denver Colardo yesterday. Simon Johnson, a leading Economist and auther...
bus driver

Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...

0
Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices. Up and down the country local bus drivers...
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

0
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...

Brexiteer skydiving team dies in tragic accident after replacing parachutes with optimism

An entire elderly skydiving display team has died in a tragic accident in Essex this weekend after replacing their parachutes with an optimistic attitude. The...

Russia urges foreign powers not to meddle in their U.K. elections

0
The Russian Government has urged all nations to refrain from interfering in its UK elections. A spokesman told us, "We are very worried about other...

Fat Controller to be renamed Big Boned Team Leader in Thomas revamp’

0
Anti-bullying & equality campaigners have praised plans by children's show Thomas the Tank Engine to highlight modern issues in the latest series of the...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts