Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year
Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year.
With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...
Cost of posting a letter first class rises to both legs below the knee
The rises in the cost of posting your mum's birthday card using The Royal Mail have now come into effect.
A first-class stamp will now...
Satire writers doubting their future after ‘test’ post gets more likes than most ‘serious’...
Satire writers at The Rochdale Herald have been left doubting their future after a 'test' post collected more likes today than most 'serious'...
Woman treated for shock after husband checks jumper washing label instructions
Heather Todd from County Durham is reeling from shock after she discovered her husband Michael not only reading the washing instruction label on a...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test
Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.
A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning
Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
Everybody who needs new kidney to get one as fair weather motorcyclists venture outside
The recent heat wave has meant that part-time riders and fair weather Valentino Rossi wannabes are venturing into the garage to wheel out their...
Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead
Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.
Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary.
This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere.
Right wing nutjob...
Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email
Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
Grayling, the...
Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit
Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
