Doing Right Thing Would Set Dangerous Precedent, Says Prime Minister
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she won't intervene in David Cameron's scheme to reward all his mates with Honours.
"Listen here," said an...
Racists are pussies
We've all seen the stories. Hate crime has risen exponentially since some of the country voted to leave the EU. We decided to talk...
Corbyn to sell your cat to pay for a statue of Lenin, confirms BBC
The BBC has confirmed that should Jeremy Corbyn win the General Election he intends to sell peoples cats to fund a statue of Lenin.
The...
“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
Britain takes back control of its fishing waters and hides them in Shropshire
The Government has revealed that Britain has taken back control of its fishing waters and hidden them in Shropshire.
A spokesman said, "For too long...
Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt.
"A...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
“It’s Warmas” declares Britain
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall?
Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
People urged to collect this year’s autumn leaves for currency post apocalypse
The Home Office has issued advice to the nation’s gardeners this year that they should be storing this year’s autumn leaves for use as...
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Man who murdered colleague who spoke to him before first cup of coffee cleared...
A man who beat a colleague to death with a computer keyboard in what has been described as a frenzied attack has been cleared...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
Britain gears up for Dianageddon
A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to...
Social Services called after parents name baby Nigel
United Kingdom - Reports are emerging that Social Services have stepped in and taken a child into care in Burnley after learning that the...
Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation
After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
