UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.
The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Brexit Secretary resignation is ‘ferry nuff’ and we’ll get ‘Dover’ it, says PM
Brexit secretary Dominic Raab, who had one job, to achieve an appropriate agreement to leave the EU, has resigned from the government
Announcing his departure...
Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote
Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election.
With the election a matter of hours away...
Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police
In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Prince Andrew to release sex tape
Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...
Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…
In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today.
The Pope was...
Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns
At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”
Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...
Green Cross Code Man killed in hit and run tragedy
The Green Cross Code Man has been killed in Rochdale in a terribly ironic tragedy involving a silent Ocado electric delivery van and a mobile phone.
Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy
Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it...
Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode
The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt.
The, ironically...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
