Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...
Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky.
Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday...
Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops
Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg.
Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...
Brits shocked that Brexit is getting the blame for everything
The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive for those made homeless by Grenfell Fire
The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices
Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red.
Whilst most people south of...
RSPCA requests help in tackling dangerous domestic terriers
“No, I don’t care. Show me pictures of abandoned dog toys, show me puppies floating in the water, play violins and show me skinny hounds looking sad. I still don’t care,” said Katie Hopkins.
Grouse shoots report sudden increase in children’s birthday party bookings
The leaders of some of Britain's major grouse shoots have reported that children's birthday party bookings are up 100%.
Hubert Chomlomoley-Wearnear told us, "Normally at...
We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...
Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing.
Business...
Angela Merkel looking forward to going Interrailing with Michael Gove
Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments...
Quentin Letts launches #StopFundingReasonableness campaign
Quentin Letts, which is a name you may have heard, without actually knowing what it is, is apparently a man, and not an upper...
Daily Mail editor collapsed after not using racial slur to describe Prince Harry’s...
The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.
Only Mandelson Eligible to Vote in Leadership Election after Mass Cull
In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
