Piss levels dangerously low after 2016 took it all – study finds
A study into the efficiency of waste management facilities across the UK has revealed a dramatic decline in the levels of liquid waste being...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it
A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today.
It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
Amber Rudd denies plan to make immigrants wear targets
Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase...
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car
A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four
It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today.
We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
G4S wins plum contract to monitor domestic waste disposal inside homes
David David MP, the Minister for Local Government was forced into the public gaze today to confirm that G4S has been awarded the coveted...
Royal baby has already earned more than you
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time.
The new prince, who was...
To a POTUS – a poem by Rabbi Burns
To a POTUS
Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick,
that makes the people aw feel sick,
who has a little tiny dick
and a big red button
He's welcome not...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give
The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give.
Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Doncaster couple finally getting some use out of speed boat they won on Bullseye...
Doncaster residents Bill and Orla Board have been telling the Rochdale Herald how they have finally found a use for the speed boat they...
Teenager buys girlfriend a cucumber for Christmas
A teenager has told us how he believes he's bought his girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift.
16 year old Nathan Brindley has been seeing Emma...
