Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
RSPCA requests help in tackling dangerous domestic terriers
“No, I don’t care. Show me pictures of abandoned dog toys, show me puppies floating in the water, play violins and show me skinny hounds looking sad. I still don’t care,” said Katie Hopkins.
Relief for constipated Dog after long search for the perfect spot leads to Downing...
There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s
A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects.
The footage was taken from...
Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun
The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler.
One reader commented, "It's strange that...
‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens
Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish".
As finger after taloned finger...
Woman treated for shock after husband checks jumper washing label instructions
Heather Todd from County Durham is reeling from shock after she discovered her husband Michael not only reading the washing instruction label on a...
Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000
The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.
Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July.
In the kind...
Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
British Company Based In Britain Backs Britain
Brexiters across the land are jubilantly crying "We told you so!" after GlaxoSmithKline, a UK company, based in the UK, that wanted the UK...
