“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
Dirty Danczuk disappoints again
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake
Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...
Women overcome by raw sexuality of man undercooking chicken on BBQ
Emergency services were called to a barbecue at a property in northern Lancashire this afternoon after dozens of women came over "a bit funny"...
Prince William’s asking about legalizing drugs “for a friend”
Following news today that Prince William asked various drug users about their views on current drug laws, The Rochdale Herald was approached by a...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...
Burnley ‘model’ swaps ‘virginity’ for fish and chip supper
A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with...
Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry
A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...
Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC
Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...
I’m unlikely to put up with your shit much longer, cat tells owner after...
A 4 year old black and white cat from Twickenham has told its owner Steve that "It's pretty fucking unlikely that I will be...
Torch lit procession marks start of UKIP party conference
UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of...
Doncaster couple finally getting some use out of speed boat they won on Bullseye...
Doncaster residents Bill and Orla Board have been telling the Rochdale Herald how they have finally found a use for the speed boat they...
Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods.
The misconduct watchdog,...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
