New royal baby to be called DIANA and raised as a GIRL
Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and...
Gary Glitter to crowdfund trip to Thailand
Popular paedophile, Gary Glitter is alleged to be considering crowdfunding a trip to Thailand for when he gets out of prison.
A spokesperson said, "The...
Council demolish victim’s home to erect memorial garden for dead burglar
In a surprise move today London councillors have confirmed plans to demolish the home of 78 year old Mr Osborn-Brooks and in its place...
May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious...
Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day
Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day.
“Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Russian government denies involvement in Aleksandr ‘the Meerkat’ Orlov poisoning
The Russian government has denied any involvement in the poisoning of Aleksandr 'The Meerkat' Orlov, after the TV star was found unconscious outside his...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
We demand the tooth!
Tory MP David Davies has demanded that the most recent group of refugee children, newly arrived in Britain, be taken straight to the dentist.
After...
First Briton shocks Britain First
Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman...
Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person
Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
That’ll Show Them…
Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...
Scarborough Earthquake Appeal
At 01:00 on Tuesday 3rd January, Britain's worst quake for 25 years hit Scarborough, Yorkshire measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale and causing untold...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Corbyn’s cat is a Tory
Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory.
Corbyn...
