David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
Southerner changes view of North after paying less than £7 for a pint
A pig headed Southern man has reduced his negative opinion of the north by 0.00000001% after spending a delightful weekend in Heckmondwicke.
Southerner Paul Thatcher-Wright,...
Writing satire ‘not even possible anymore’
Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine.
"Donald Trump...
Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas
The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas.
Santa Claus...
Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free
Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Anger as Southerners Omit Cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10
There was anger on the streets of Rochdale last night as "Cockwomble" was controversially left out of Ofcom's Top 10 of swear words.
Ofcom, an...
Hard left protestors to protest Grenfell fire by setting fire to buildings and looting...
Members of the hard left have announced plans to protest at the Grenfell fire by looting and setting fire to local shops it has...
Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...
The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent.
With rents increasing in...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful
Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...
Larry the Downing Street Cat responds to allegations of sexual misconduct: These stories are...
Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the...
Fireman Sam denies having ever met Norman Price
Pontypandy fireman, Fireman Sam has again denied having ever met Norman Price on more than 3 occasions. The denial comes amidst growing calls for...
London to trial riderless bikes in 2018
The announcement made at an event in central London. Mayor Sadiq Khan came onto stage to the strains of Queen's Bicycle Race to unveil...
Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”
Tim Farron forced to hand over lunch money during visit to primary school
Tim Farron has today visited a primary school in Bacup in an effort to convince voters that the Lib Dems absolutely, cross their hearts hope...
