Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead

1
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished. This includes being subjected to death...
Cave Diver

Britain takes back control of its fishing waters and hides them in Shropshire

0
The Government has revealed that Britain has taken back control of its fishing waters and hidden them in Shropshire. A spokesman said, "For too long...
Big Ben

Sound of Jeremy Hunt flushing money down forty grand toilet replaces Big Ben chimes...

3
NHS workers and the general public were reassured this morning to learn Jeremy Hunt flushing money down his new toilet will replace the sound...
Poppy Seller

Islamic poppies being considered by the Royal British Legion

0
Islamic poppies, which would be green, with a white star and crescent, are being discussed by the Royal British Legion. This has predictably stirred up...

BBC to Celebrate April 1st as Farage Day

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The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as "Farage Day", in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former...

1000’s of tea plantation jobs go as Yorkshire Tea announces it’s moving production to...

0
There are fears that thousands of tea plantation workers in Yorkshire could lose their jobs as makers of Yorkshire Tea, Taylors of Harrogate, announced...

Arsonists shocked building they set on fire is burning

0
A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set fire to...
Wetherspoons

Brexit riots fail after Wetherspoons opens

0
A threat to riot if Britain failed to leave the EU on 31st October has failed after branches of Wetherspoons opened as usual this...

One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns

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At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

1
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...

Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews

0
A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors

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The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky. A spokesman...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

34
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...
Arguing Old Women

Scone versus scone pronunciation debate hits 14th consecutive hour

38
It's National Cream Tea Day, which means across the nation the fine china is taken off the Welsh dresser and selections of finger sandwiches...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan leads star studded sing along to F**k Tha Police

0
Piers Morgan shared a video on Tuesday night showing him and other self-quarantined celebrities singing NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" "Hi guys.  Day who knows what...

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