UKIP elect Diane James leader

0
UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

0
Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...

Ben Fogle quits Animal Park to try his hand at ventriloquism

0
Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

0
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

People that pull statues down to face different level of justice to people that...

0
The Government has confirmed that the people that pulled a statue down over the weekend will face a different level of justice to those...
Kicked in the balls

London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019

0
Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...

Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000

0
The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.

Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral

0
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral. Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
Depressed business man at his desk

Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news

0
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt. "A...

Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...

0
Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...
Confused Child

Child confused as to why he can’t just accept his school mates for who...

0
In a candid interview for the Rochdale Herald, an unnamed child of parents who sincerely believe that their child can somehow be damaged by...
Pensioners

It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...

0
British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics. Research released by...
Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...
Lucky Childless Bastards

Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday

A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts