Woman captures the spirit of Christmas by screening calls, binge eating and watching Netflix.
Denise Dufite of Middleton has captured the spirit of Christmas by ignoring the twelfth phone call of the day.
Instead of answering calls from...
Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi
Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi!
In...
Catlike powers wasted on cats
According to research at the institute of institutes catlike powers are absolutely wasted on cats.
Researchers have discovered that despite having incredible superpower like abilities...
Mob smashing ambulance up fine because it’s the will of the people, confirm Brexiteers
Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to...
Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…
In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today.
The Pope was...
Haggis ‘just a joke we play on the English’ admits Scotland
With Burns Night suppers planned across Scotland tonight, people are gearing up for the annual celebration of everything it means to be Scottish: fine...
Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning
Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...
Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist
There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Dog walkers foil Brexit
A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage.
"I didn't know which way...
Last week’s news roundup
Head of Britain First, Paul Golding, was arrested and sentenced to prison for obsessively visiting places he supposedly hates. He reportedly hates prison too...
BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla
BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...
You could always smother a grandparent for a house deposit, Banks advise first time...
First time buyers struggling to raise the funds for a house deposit are being advised to smother an elderly relative for the inheritance by...
Burnley residents “Delighted” by the introduction of BBC2 in the area
BBC2 finally came to Burnley yesterday.
The TV channel, which first aired to the british public in 1967, finally made its first transmition to...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
