National News

President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in...

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...

Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has today explained that The Church of England doesn't actually have shares in Amazon as Yodel has never delivered...

London's last surviving affordable plumber has been killed by poachers in Clapham, according to a conservation group that protects a dwindling group of reliable...

Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a...

In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....

Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...

The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...

Chris Grayling has announced that the Royal Air Force will be disbanded and its responsibilities outsourced to the Russian Air Force. Speaking from Ivan the...

Anglo US relations have reached their lowest ebb since 1812 when British Force burned down the White House after members of the Royal Family...

“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”

Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...

All over Britain, McDonald's branches are silent and your gran might die from Covid-19. The PC libtards say this is a result of complex...

It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

The average price of standing between a handful of sweaty commuters whilst the will to live is squeezed out of you is to rise by around 2.3%. Again.

Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...