There’s nothing more Christmassy than seeing German Terrorist fall out of window, confirm men
Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall...
Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes, to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Concerns mount for Rochdale man not heard yelling at Six O’clock News
Concerns are mounting over the welfare of a Rochdale man who is apparently missing from his Lancashire home.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was...
You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow.
"Don't...
Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Make America Great Again
We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance
Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street.
A...
Jim Bowen to be placed in burning speedboat in viking funeral
Jim Bowen, the comedian and inventor of darts is to receive a full viking funeral.
Mr Bowen, who invented the game of "darts" in the...
Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...
In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...
Prince Harry condemned for turning up to fancy dress party dressed as Paul Hollywood
The world had thought that William's half-brother and something-or-other in line to the throne's days of causing controversy were over. But today, a new...
Burnley residents “Delighted” by the introduction of BBC2 in the area
BBC2 finally came to Burnley yesterday.
The TV channel, which first aired to the british public in 1967, finally made its first transmition to...
What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas
A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on...
Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle
The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by...
