‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss

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The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week; "Everyone is equal and all religions should be...

EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…

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Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Angry

People angry about Hillsborough weren’t even victims

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Like a crowd of Paul Nuttalls, they press forward into the comments section, STOP, STOP writing right there. “The timing is appalling, how dare you...
Laptop

I was looking at porn not the Conservative manifesto, Damien Green assures Mum

The First Secretary of State, essentially Theresa May's deputy, is facing an investigation by his Mum into allegations that copies of the Conservative manifesto...

Man believes in equality because he has daughters

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A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

4
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...

Your Mum has a dildo

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Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Russell Brand

Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter

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Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...

Prince Philip to be dismantled following cladding inspection failure

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HRH the Duke Of Edinburgh to be decommissioned and scrapped after failing Health and Safety tests. Sad scenes at Buckingham Palace today as Prince Philip...
Middlesbrough

North East has nowt to do with us, claims Government

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Following a cabinet meeting on Tuesday the government has denied responsibility for the north east stating "we didn't want it in the first place....

Man still wearing shorts admits his legs are cold

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Tom Hodgkins of Heywood today admitted that wearing shorts in winter is a bad idea and his leg are cold. We caught up with Tom,...
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd becomes Secretary at Home

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Amber Rudd today denied she had resigned as Home Secretary, and claimed she had simply renegotiated the job title and specification. "I have agreed...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Football

Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN

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Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

1
Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...

Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult

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A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult. Bill Board has spent the last...

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