Britain gears up for Dianageddon
A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to...
McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis
Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis.
Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...
Oxfam scandal proves we have moral high-ground say selfish, tight bastards
Dreadful arseholes everywhere have applauded Oxfam staff for providing them with their latest bout of self-justification.
Graham Ruddington, 47, who has both used and supplied...
UKIP suspends member for reading a book
A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list.
The list, which includes...
Boris Johnson feared dead?
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott
Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot.
Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...
People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported
The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the...
Fears of bush fire on Saddleworth moor causing huge smoke cloud actually vaping Hipster
For three days smoke has filled the skies above north Manchester as Saddleworth moor has been seemingly ablaze, leaving North Manchester covered in a...
Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything.
Clueless commie...
Woman captures the spirit of Christmas by screening calls, binge eating and watching Netflix.
Denise Dufite of Middleton has captured the spirit of Christmas by ignoring the twelfth phone call of the day.
Instead of answering calls from...
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Unwanted crap in loft briefly sees light of day during house move
A VHS video recorder that has been languishing in the loft of a house in Middleton briefly saw the light of day this afternoon.
The...
Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out
A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...
Racist black cop shoots mentally unstable white veteran, says Fox News
Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps...
That’ll Show Them…
Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
