Elmer Fudd

Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary

The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said. Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...

Rail fares rise takes taking the piss further

0
The average price of standing between a handful of sweaty commuters whilst the will to live is squeezed out of you is to rise by around 2.3%. Again.

Nurses and Firemen organise whip-round to help pensioner do up her house

15
Well off government workers including nurses, firemen and the police are banding together to help impoverished pensioner, Liz, 91, from Windsor. 'We heard about the...
Theresa May

Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place

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The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election. An inside source...

Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead

1
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished. This includes being subjected to death...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

0
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team

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UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...
Terrier

RSPCA requests help in tackling dangerous domestic terriers

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“No, I don’t care. Show me pictures of abandoned dog toys, show me puppies floating in the water, play violins and show me skinny hounds looking sad. I still don’t care,” said Katie Hopkins.

Church still rich, poor still poor

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Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown. The news will come as no surprise...
Labour logo with Ukip logo within it

UKIP and Corbynista trolls to colour code social media posts to avoid confusion.

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  UKIP and the Corbynista wing of the Labour Party have reached a landmark agreement to prevent social media posts by their respective trolls and sock puppets...

EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…

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Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

0
A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is...

May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage

1
After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...

Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum

1
The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today. Researchers...

Northern Expert finds London still full of wankers

44
Professor Emeritus of Southern Studies at the University of Leeds, Joe Roots, confirmed in his opening lecture of the 2017/18 academic term that: “London is...

Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

30
Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...

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