Polite man starves to death whilst holding door open for ungrateful strangers

A polite man has starved to death in full view of the public while holding a door open for ungrateful strangers at the John...
Grimsby

Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Glass of orange juice

The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy

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80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and  immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...

Lexicographers confirm Jeremy Hunt now officially rhyming slang for idiot.

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Those remarkably eloquent phonetician's over at WANCOff (The Wordsmiths, Arithmeticians and Number Crunchers Office) have enjoyed the last few years of Conservative Government. Over this...
Celebrating Man

Rochdale man abandons Marxism after winning £10 on lottery

5
A Rochdale resident has been explaining how winning £10 on the lottery has made him re-evaluate his position on Marxism. Shea Bukharin told the Herald,...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

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Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...
Shirtless fat man

For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
Katie Hopkins

Drug Dealers Move to Distance Themselves from Hopkins

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Ketamine dealers nationwide have moved to distance themselves from Katie Hopkins, it has been confirmed. The news came following the upholding of a complaint by...

City banker in sponsored sleep out confident he understands homelessness

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You just get such a sense of the hardship, and how it could be addressed by just taking a little more personal responsibility After taking...
Gay Pride

‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride

In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride. In between...
Children Christmas Presents

Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000

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The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...

May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.

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The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...
Arron Banks

Arron Banks demands police enforcement of EU data privacy laws

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Arron Banks has taken a day off from calling for Britain to leave the EU so it can be free from the interference of...

Daily Mail photo editor awarded the Iron Cross

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The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon. A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, "This award...
Smiling woman

Woman who said she’s fine really is fine

In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...

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