Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’
It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
Swiss banks confirm Theresa May’s walking holiday was great for business
"Normally we only get foreign potentates, third world dictators, drug magnates and the odd closet Nazi holidaying here," said Herman Gnom, spokesman for Zurich's Lavamatbank explaining that footage of a genuine prime minister - even one with no majority, no mandate and about to be deposed by her own party has been a huge boost for Swiss banks' credibility.
Daily Mail editor collapsed after not using racial slur to describe Prince Harry’s...
The editor of The Daily Mail is said to be in a critical condition this afternoon after learning that Prince Harry's new girlfriend is mixed race.
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses
A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...
Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale
People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged.
Things came to a head recently when...
Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist
There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa
Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS.
Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...
Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996.
“Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott
Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot.
Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...
Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes
International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...
If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit.
Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...
Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods.
The misconduct watchdog,...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Concerns raised over driverless lorry tests after results of ongoing driverless country test
Haulage and motoring groups were raising concerns this morning over driverless lorry tests on motorways, citing the results of the ongoing driverless country test.
Transport...
