Game of Thrones

Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns

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As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...
Cocker Spaniel

Cocker Spaniel has reasonable and sensible response to doorbell

Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell. The incident occurred when...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

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As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather...

Scarborough Earthquake Appeal

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At 01:00 on Tuesday 3rd January, Britain's worst quake for 25 years hit Scarborough, Yorkshire measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale and causing untold...

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

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British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...

Southern Rail and RMT make historic deal

The RMT and Southern Rail have finally called an end to hostilities and announced, to the dismay of passengers, that normal services will resume...

We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women

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Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads. One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...

Change of fart for Donald

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Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence ...
Blue Passport

British retail workers thrilled about opportunity to sign on using blue passport

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British retail workers have revealed that they're looking forward to signing on with blue passports. Cliff Edge told us, "Not having a job or any...

Burnley residents “Delighted” by the introduction of BBC2 in the area

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BBC2 finally came to Burnley yesterday. The TV channel, which first aired to the british public in 1967, finally made its first transmition to...
Putin White Denim

Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...

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  Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...
Angry Man

Oxfam scandal proves we have moral high-ground say selfish, tight bastards

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Dreadful arseholes everywhere have applauded Oxfam staff for providing them with their latest bout of self-justification. Graham Ruddington, 47, who has both used and supplied...
Theresa May

Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected

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The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.  A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...
Tube Chat

Tube chat badges surprisingly successful

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Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success,...
Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...

G4S wins plum contract to monitor domestic waste disposal inside homes

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David David MP, the Minister for Local Government was forced into the public gaze today to confirm that G4S has been awarded the coveted...

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