Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab
Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London.
Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Torquay becomes UK Hate Capital overnight
A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after...
Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief
In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Southern Rail and RMT make historic deal
The RMT and Southern Rail have finally called an end to hostilities and announced, to the dismay of passengers, that normal services will resume...
Tommy Robinson hired to advise UKIP members on starting grooming gangs.
UKIP members are cock-a-hoop at the news that leader Gerald Batman has engaged the services of Tommy Robinson to advise on grooming gangs.
"This is...
Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks
Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend
A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...
Theresa May expected to announce late entrance to this years ‘I’m a Celebrity Get...
Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this...
First year student can’t wait to get home to tell her pony all about...
A first year student at the University of Bristol is said to be very excited about getting home for Christmas so she can tell...
Man discovers he’s middle aged after getting neck injury whilst putting jumper on
A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he's middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper.
Stan Still, 38, said,...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes, to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Islamic poppies being considered by the Royal British Legion
Islamic poppies, which would be green, with a white star and crescent, are being discussed by the Royal British Legion.
This has predictably stirred up...
Sheffield City Council declares state of emergency after residents are forced to have a...
Sheffield City Council have declared a state of emergency after some residents reported taking a bath.
Brightside resident Stand Still told us, "It's been 12...
