Ecstasy

SHOCK after ECSTASY tablet found to contain traces of MDMA

0
Rochdale Police today issued a warning to recreational drug users that Ecstasy tablets are being sold in the local area that actually contain some...
Theresa May (licence)

Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.

0
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Corbyn

Corbyn to sell your cat to pay for a statue of Lenin, confirms BBC

0
The BBC has confirmed that should Jeremy Corbyn win the General Election he intends to sell peoples cats to fund a statue of Lenin. The...

Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes

0
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.  It's...
Afro

Splendid Afros distance themselves from Diane Abbott

Splendid Afros around the world have taken to Twitter to condemn Diane Abbot for being a complete idiot. Diane Abbot was interviewed on the Andrew...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

0
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’

0
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’ Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
Confused Man

Men to celebrate International Men’s Day by having no idea that it’s International Men’s...

0
Men across the globe will celebrate International Men's Day today by being completely oblivious to the fact that it's International Men's Day. The annual event,...
Nurses

NHS crisis averted after 33,500 nurses found down back of sofa

Whitehall: There has been widespread relief around the UK after reports that the deepening staffing crisis in the NHS has been averted after tens...
HMS Queen Elizabeth

Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...

0
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...

Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way

0
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way. Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...
Putin White Denim

Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...

0
  Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

0
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love

0
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers. Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...

Vegans & Fruitarians to settle differences with pissing contest in Co-op car park

0
Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to...

Thomas Cook Launch “40% Off Term-Time Holidays” Voucher

0
Holiday giant Thomas Cook have taken action after coming under pressure from the Government and consumer groups over the price of family holidays...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts