Arron Banks

UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood

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Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan." The historian and...

Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans

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There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...
Homeless

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

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The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

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Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of...

Brits shocked that Brexit is getting the blame for everything

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The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...
Snake

Senior Tories want to change party logo from tree to ladder to attract more...

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The Conservatives may be about to dump their current tree logo and replace it with a ladder. In 2006, the Conservative and Unionist Party dumped...
Bob Marley

Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion

Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

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Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...

Trident satnav and sellotape cutbacks a mistake admits Michael Fallon

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Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to...
David Davis

Brexiteers demand Government grants cognitive dissonance settled status

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Brexiteers have demanded the Government grant settled status to cognitive dissonance. The demands come as many companies that employ lots of people in Britain...
People on bus laughing

Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers

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A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.   Stating confidently that “It is,...
Pest Control

In London you’re never more than 6ft from a Tory Party leadership candidate, study...

The old adage has it that we're never more than six feet away from a Conservative Party leadership candidate? It's a saying that seems almost...

Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”

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Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...

Let’s get this over with Says Queen

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Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot". Her worshipfulness...

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