Heat from self-righteous can power the world
Scientists at the renowned Rochdale Community University's Social Physics department announced the discovery of a new energy source today.
“We discovered that the heat radiated...
Restored Big Ben tests bong to ensure it’s ready for Eid
Eid al-Fitr is an important religious holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, London's most popular holy month
Ramadan is the ninth month of London's...
Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto
A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...
Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months
The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished.
This includes being subjected to death...
Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris is Foreign Secretary
In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Fuck this, we’re off to the pub say protestors
The one million protestors who were expected to topple the Tory government today collectively said “fuck this, we’re off to the pub” after temperatures...
Tommy Robinson distances himself from the Labour Party
Right wing folk hero Tommy Robinson has issued a statement distancing himself for The Labour Party.
The statement was issued in response to speculation that...
New British Sign Language gesture devised to mean ‘Daily Telegraph reader’.
Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary.
This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily...
Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List
The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Muslim women swap burkas for Stig costumes to appeal to middle aged white men
A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's...
Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident
Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express
In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....
