Northern Shithole Celebrates UK Capital of Culture with Pie and Peas and a Knobbly...
About 60,000 people came out in Hull to watch a Burger Eating Contest & Arm Wrestling show to mark the start of the city's...
Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...
I’m unlikely to put up with your shit much longer, cat tells owner after...
A 4 year old black and white cat from Twickenham has told its owner Steve that "It's pretty fucking unlikely that I will be...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco
A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves.
At...
Muppet fury over South West Trains slur
Muppets across Britain are furious today after learning that the name of their species was used as a slur to describe vandals by an...
Paul Golding Christmas Carol
Jingle Bells
My cell smells
It's gloomy and its rank
I only pissed some Muslims off
Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey
Jingle Bells
This is hell
I don't think...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it
A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today.
It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
Anti-Semetism claims are part of Jewish influenced media conspiracy, claims Momentum member
A Rochdale Momentum member has told us that claims of anti-Semetism made by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mervis are proof that there is a media...
Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey.
"Once I found a tin...
Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline
As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED
Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...
Stoke returning officer opened wrong envelope: Nuttall real winner!
Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won.
"I was...
Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim
Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
