Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Brexit decided by a swift round of ‘Bullseye’
It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of...
Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Boris Johnson discovers he’s won half a speedboat at Chequers
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were...
Restored Big Ben tests bong to ensure it’s ready for Eid
Eid al-Fitr is an important religious holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, London's most popular holy month
Ramadan is the ninth month of London's...
Rochdale assassination attempt foiled by rail replacement bus service
A Russian assassination team who were tasked with assassinating an ex-spy In Rochdale were foiled by a rail replacement bus service and a strike...
Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke
Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke.
"Everything was looking good,...
Audi driver denies allegations he used indicators
An Audi driver from Rochdale has denied allegations that he used his indicators whilst driving on the M62 last Tuesday morning.
At least one woman...
South Koreans and Londoners in agreement that it’s “grim up north”
South Koreans will similarly be asked to stand on the border with their own north and use megaphones to shout at their alienated relatives that they think they have it hard, they could try living in Rochdale.
Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years
Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years.
His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake
Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Mob smashing ambulance up fine because it’s the will of the people, confirm Brexiteers
Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to...
Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...
Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices.
Up and down the country local bus drivers...
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
Secret owners of 1 million tax dodging companies registered in British Virgin Islands furious...
The secret owners of an estimated one million companies registered in the British Virgin Islands Sunday registered their displeasure at the UK government's slow...
