People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
M&Ms Sharing packs to be renamed Who Are You To Judge Me packs
Chocolate mega-conglomerate Mars have confirmed they are renaming 'Share' packs to more accurately reflect their customers' selfish, secretive consumption style.
Advertising campaigns for the larger...
‘Just a phase’ movement finally represented at London Gay Pride
In another great victory for liberal tolerance, the much maligned "just a phase" movement will be properly recognised at tomorrow's London Pride.
In between...
Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh
Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed.
“It’s the perfect job, really,”...
Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views.
Cal Low, who...
Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16
Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
Ben Fogle quits Animal Park to try his hand at ventriloquism
Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for...
Man left alone for the weekend yet to put his trousers on
A man who’s wife has gone away for the weekend is yet to put his trousers on The Rochdale Herald has learned.
Thomas Thomas of...
Mail Online reassures readers faulty fridge wasn’t bought by a white person
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths
Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...
Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...
Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend
A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...
May Presented With Mirror After Body Shaming Corbyn
Know Thyself, a charity dedicated to helping older people come to terms with physical changes, is to present Theresa May with a full length...
Theresa May Fumbles For Pin For Grenade She Shoved Up Her Ass
Theresa May is reported to be surrounded by a Bomb Disposal Unit this evening after the discovery of an unexploded grenade inside her ass.
The...
Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car
A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...
