Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers.
Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will...
Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply.
Labour spokesman, Stan...
Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit
The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump's proposed state visit to the UK go...
Obvious Satire Still Confusing Idiots, Say Scientists
Researchers at the esteemed Rochdale Community University have published a study today revealing that fool-proof satire is still not fool-proof.
"We gave some angry morons...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
People urged to collect this year’s autumn leaves for currency post apocalypse
The Home Office has issued advice to the nation’s gardeners this year that they should be storing this year’s autumn leaves for use as...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
4,600 redundancies at Rolls Royce was on the other bus, insist Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that 4,600 people being made redundant at Rolls Royce was on a different bus to the one...
Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN
Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean
The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma.
What has...
Woman treated for shock after husband checks jumper washing label instructions
Heather Todd from County Durham is reeling from shock after she discovered her husband Michael not only reading the washing instruction label on a...
Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city
Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
Siberia braces itself for unseasonal British drizzle
Russian media is warning residents of Central Sibera that the usually frozen steppes will be be bit damper than Britain all week.
Prisoners in Siberian...
