Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’

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An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’ Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...

BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s

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A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from...
Houses of Parliament

SHOCK after politician caught watching NORMAL PORN featuring adults

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A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...
MEGHAN AND PRINCE HARRY

Great start for Meghan Markle as she manages to walk around slowly and wave

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The future of the British monarchy, American Meghan Markle, has successfully negotiated her first official public engagement as she absolutely nailed walking slowly and...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Buckingham Palace announces Prince Andrew to tour Paris road tunnels

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Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Andrew will go on a state visit of Parisian road tunnels later this week. In a statement a spokesman...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...
Unhappy Hippy Kid

Children of hippy parents gear up for annual disappointment of ethical advent calendars

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The children of hippies have been telling the Herald about how they've been preparing for receiving disappointing advent calendars. 8 year old Freedom Snowphish said,...
Spa Day

Why can’t we just do a spa day and go to bed early, says...

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...

Dirty Danczuk disappoints again

Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

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Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...
Theresa May

Government vows to tackle crime now wealthy are affected

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The Government has pledged to start tackling violent crime now that it's affecting wealthy people in London.  A Spokesman for Theresa May said, "When the...
Theresa May

Awkward Moment as Someone has to explain what a Joke is to Theresa May

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There was an awkward meeting this morning when an assistant to the Prime Minister had to explain to her what a joke was. This occurred...

Killer Ian Brady’s ashes shot into space, by most expensive means possible and paid...

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Reports have been across all of the mainstream press today regarding the Moors murderer, Ian Brady’s remains being buried at sea. A shock report...
Arron Banks

UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood

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Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan." The historian and...

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