Man Relaxing

Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give

16
The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give. Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...

Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit

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Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...

Prince Andrew says he has no recollection of meeting Emily Maitlis or appearing on...

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Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having...
Crashed Gritter Lorry

Council has enough grit

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A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...

BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla

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BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...

Government pressed on exit strategy for NHS clapping

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Labour leader Keir Starmer has urged the Government to publish its exit strategy this week, as he warns that the "silent pressures on families...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Man fined for forgetting to post picture on Facebook of litter he picked up...

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A man has been fined for failing to take a picture of the rubbish he picked up on a beach and post it on...

England celebrates patron saint of Syphilis

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England is to spend the day celebrating the patron saint of Syphilis today. Branches of Wetherspoons across the land will be full of obese, gammon...

Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards

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Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Pensioners

It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...

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British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics. Research released by...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

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Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews

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A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...

Middle aged man now communicating entirely by sighing

Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by...
Depressed business man at his desk

Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news

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The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt. "A...
BBC Question Time

Question Time cut short after woman dies of boredom

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The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording. Filming of the BBC...

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