Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Church still rich, poor still poor
Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown.
The news will come as no surprise...
London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019
Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...
Rochdale assassination attempt foiled by rail replacement bus service
A Russian assassination team who were tasked with assassinating an ex-spy In Rochdale were foiled by a rail replacement bus service and a strike...
Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives
The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021.
A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...
Woman who tried hummus recently is now into yoga, and expanding her consciousness.
A woman who tried hummus for the first time at a party recently is now into yoga, composting and expanding her consciousness.
Poppy Cox had...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Writing satire ‘not even possible anymore’
Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine.
"Donald Trump...
Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy
Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...
People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
White van man smashes World Land Speed Record
A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van.
The news that Jamie...
Town of Hamelin hire Anna Soubry to rid itself of Problem Gammons
Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...
Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism
Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism.
"Clearly this is...
