Boris Johnson

Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head

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A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

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The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...
Bully

Calling bullies bullies is bullying say bullies

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Support groups representing bullies are calling for the term bully to be banned. They claim it is a negative and pejorative phrase and leaves...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...

Middle aged men in state of heightened excitement after reported sightings of first B...

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After spending the long winter months in a hibernatory slumber, the nation's middle-aged men are getting all silly over news that the first hardware...

Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend

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Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

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It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians

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Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians. 6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....
Tapas

Tapas actually Spanish for ‘not enough food’ confirms Spain

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Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'.  The revelation comes after local office drone...

Scottish football fans to show solidarity with Colombia by snorting loads of cocaine

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Scottish football fans have said they will up their intake of cocaine this weekend in an effort to demonstrate their solidarity with the Colombian...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test

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Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.  A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

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In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...

New BananaPhone for men undersized, unreliable, and turns itself off when you want to...

6
The new BananaPhone has been launched exclusively at the male market. It has a retractable cover which simply pulls down for ease of use,...

SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.

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It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed

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The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...

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