A VHS video recorder that has been languishing in the loft of a house in Middleton briefly saw the light of day this afternoon.

The once state of the art Sanyo integrated TV and VCR unit that has been in the corner of the loft revealed that he hadn’t seen daylight since 1997.

The 27-year-old entertainment unit said: “I’ve been up there longer than Terry Waite was chained to that bloody radiator. It’s inhumane, I don’t know why they won’t just give me away or take me to the tip.”

“They don’t even have any video cassettes anymore. The last time I was downstairs it was all these newfangled DVD players.”

“I hated it when that Hitachi DVD player came along and they put me in the loft. But he’s been up there with me since 2011 and to be honest we get on really well now.

Both the VHS and the DVD players are now safely in the loft of the new house after spending a full fifteen minutes outside whilst waiting to be loaded into the back of the removal van.

“It lasted twenty minutes, that break in the sunshine, and for those twenty minutes we felt like free video recorders. We could have been playing The Shawshank Redemption in one of our own living rooms.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.