Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn’s announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS Divisions that will purge the party of antisemitic pockets.
Mr Corbyn said, “I have met mainstream Jewish leaders and discussed antisemitism in the Labour Party. What I say is that I am listening to your concerns. I will now act on them. That’s why I’ve instructed Eddie Izzard to form SS Divisions to oversee semitic security.
Each local branch of the Labour Party will have an SS Division by the end of the summer.”
Eddie Izzard told us, “He said what? How the heck am I supposed to defend that? Is the Press Secretary job still going at the White House?”
We also asked John McDonell for a response to the announcement. He told us, “This has been taken completely out of proportion. Jeremy didn’t mean the SS. He meant Semitic Security…”It was at this point Mr McDonell walked off muttering about updating his CV.
It wasn’t all bad though. Momentum members have been quick to rush to Mr Corbyn’s defence.
One told us, “It’s just an acronym. Why do Jews get so upset about it? They wanted Jeremy to do something about antisemitism and he has. Now they’re trying to make out the SS Divisions are Nazis or something.”
Another said, “This is all a lie perpetrated by Tories to smear Corbyn because they’re scared of him. Nobody had heard of the SS until the other day.”
Tory MP Bill Board said, “This is brilliant. A royal baby and now this. Once Will and Kate announce the name it’ll be Monday and everyone will have forgotten about all those people we’ve deported.”
Vince Cable said, “What do I have to do? He’s still more popular than me and he’s just said he wants to form SS Divisions to fight antisemitism. Maybe I should come out as Sonderkommando of the Liberal Democrats.”
