Burnley Rugby team turn to cannibalism after being stranded on M62 in snow
Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists near Ainley Top.
The Daily Express reported cars were stranded for...
KFC announce they’ve run out of ice
First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes.
Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've spent all day having to tell people that we've run...
Morons wondering why blizzard wasn’t averted by thin layer of salt
Millions of morons across the UK were left perplexed when a thin layer of salt didn't prevent their cars getting stuck in 3 feet of snow and all services breaking down.
Despite having 4...
Family of Yorkshireman caught in endless loop of telling it like it is win...
There was a relief for a family on the wrong side of the Pennines this afternoon, as a man with a debilitating terminal illness was finally given the right to die after a court...
Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets
With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country.
Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt, Liam Fox, Michael Gove, and David Davis were spotted walking...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the royal wedding. This weather has come as a bit of...
You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow.
"Don't brake," said Fred Goodhead, North region sales director for Rochdale...
Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice
We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time.
Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First have slammed Foreigner for it being Cold as Ice.
This Foreigner...
Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...
After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole of Britain was inspired to stay at home when it...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no punters can make it to their outlets due to awful...
Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...
A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather.
Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in his office sharing knowing glances and discrete nods of acknowledgement...
Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day
Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio.
Parent and washed out husk of a human being Nigel Colinson, has two...
OUTRAGE as gender neutral snowbeing desecrated with COCK AND BALLS!!!
GMP Saddleworth were last night were conducting a full manhunt, as the spate of gender neutral snow beings being cruelly desecrated with a carrot penis and coal testies continues unabated.
Helicopters were recalled from a...
Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...
The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry.
He told the press that if he lives long enough to see another General...
Trump thwarts Milnrow knife attack.
Diners in a Milnrow curry house were astonished as the 45th (and probably last) President of the USA stopped an armed bandit carrying out a knifepoint robbery.
Dhansak enthusiast Simon Dhansak said "I was in...
After blowing 28 million pounds on Winter Olympics the UK grinds to halt after...
Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual mass panic as snow flakes have been spotted all over...
