World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.
The current record was set in...
Trump is said to be fuhrerious over comparisons with Adolf Hitler
Today the Trump Administration has struck back over comments alluding to Donald Trump resembling something of a 21st Century Hitler.
There has been outrage...
Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day
In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...
Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...
Foreign Aid for starving babies is wasteful say countries who landfill more food than...
The Foreign Aid budget is a waste of money according to arseholes in the U.K. Who throw out more food every year than they...
Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria
The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria.
They are expected to discuss...
The ‘Santa Clause’ prevents Article 50 from being triggered experts warn
In a massive blow to the government, German lawyer Rudolph Shnitz has highlighted a clause in section 4 of article 38 dubbed 'The Santa...
Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims
A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.
Mike and...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own
This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.
This, apparently,...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump
Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.
Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself
Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...
Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017.
Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people
Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week.
The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...
Sweden not rocked by terrorist incident
Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.
