In the wake of yet another devastating school shooting on U.S soil, American school goers have stood up to demand an amendment to the U.S constitution to reflect the basic right not to be shot in school.
As usual, the prospect of even penciling in a pre-meeting for a discussion on the matter has been met with a wall of resistance from ‘Freedom Fighters’, Patriots and NRA members, but schoolchild Joey D, 14, has had enough.
“I just don’t get why we can’t speak about this.” he said. “Obviously the right to bear arms is still a salient and crucial law these days, as clearly no one wants the King of England to turn up and start bossing us around again, but it’s got to the point now where surely there has to be an open discussion about this with children unsafe in their own schools?”
“Put yourself in your children’s shoes – can you imagine the feeling of having a right to a childhood completely destroyed by the fear that they and their friends could potentially face this down in the place we’re supposed to learn, play & develop as human beings. It’s sickening, and we carry that horror round with us every day.”
“I tried to bring this up with my Dad who has 16 guns to ‘protect our family’, despite living in a gated community with no ‘smelly immigrants’ as he calls them, and he just called me a commie before buffing his statue of Charlton Heston and singing the national anthem. We have to talk!!!”
POTUS Donald Trump was quick to point out that the attacker was a ‘loser with a miniscule penis’, but when questioned on why it was so easy for said loser to obtain a gun, just covered his ears singing ‘LA LA LA LA LA LA LA’