Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world
"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
CIA to dumb down intelligence briefings
The U.S. Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Dan Coats, announced on Sunday that they will be cutting down the president’s daily intelligence briefings to a maximum...
ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine
As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...
Tribute band ‘The White Supremes’ enjoying huge boost in bookings
The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The...
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies.
During a speech given to Texas...
Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...
US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
Trump trumped by top trumpeters
Six anti-Trump trumpeters who had been tunefully disrupting the presidential candidate on the campaign trail have been silenced - temporarily.
The musicians from the San...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
World shocked Thailand torturing political prisoners
The world was rocked to the core today after an Amnesty International report revealed that Thailand's military junta, otherwise known as "the government", tortures...
Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem
President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum.
Enric Millo, playing the...
Mad Max: Fury Road found to be future documentary sent back as a warning
"Mad Max:Fury Road" has been found to be a future documentary, sent back as a warning.
The documentary, originally titled 'Trump's Legacy' was hastily thrown...
