Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist, Steve Bannon, is now conflicted about the best way to fuck over the disabled.
A source told us; “Bannon wasn’t too fussed about the LGBT thing because he knows that a Republican-dominated Congress will happily fuck them over in the long-term anyway. But disabled people are causing him a real headache. Everyone loves a disabled.”
It’s believed that Bannon is torn between classing them as a national security risk – citing examples in the Middle East of disabled people being used as suicide bombers – or finding a way to discriminate against them on contrived religious grounds.
Our source continued:
“We’ve been cherry-picking verses from the Old Testament that could tenuously be used to suggest that disability is a punishment from God, but every time we read them to Bannon he starts screaming in pain and talking in tongues.”
“I accidentally brushed a bible against his arm the other day, and I swear to God his shirt caught on fire.”
Whichever strategy the white supremacist eventually chooses, a different source close to Bannon said that he was confident President Trump would sign off on literally any
Executive Order placed in front of him.
“It’s like giving a dog a biscuit.” said the source. “He’s got him to sign off on everything from Sean Spicer’s psychiatric bills to an order for black uniforms for the entire Secret Service.
Meanwhile former Work & Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has been asked to comment on rumours that he has been invited over to Washington to consult on the future persecution of disabled people.