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Is Bradley Wiggins the new Lance Armstrong?

Bradley Wiggins has come under scrutiny this week after it was revealed he'd used performance enhancing drugs to "put him back on a level playing field" with other athletes not using performance enhancing drugs. It...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the European Parliament's Fair Trade Advocacy Office in conjunction with the...

Judd Trump To Change Name By Deed Poll

Snooker player Judd Trump has announced that he is to change his name by deed poll following a series of incidents whereby people saw his surname and associated him with SCROTUS Donald Trump. “It’s been...

Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow

Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.

Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return

More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT back on silver polish. HMRC officials were alerted after after...

Tom Daley admits pissing in pool

Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed to urinating in the diving pool in Rio. The much talked...

Brownlee Brothers win World Three Legged Race Championship

British superstars Jonny and Alister Brownlee were today crowned world 3 legged triathlon race champions in a nail biting finish in Mexico. Although crossing the line behind the South Africans they were credited the win...

Ex-professional footballer could sign for Rochdale Nomads

Excitement is building around the start of next season's Sunday league fixtures as rumours of top ex-professional footballer Chris Sutton once of Blackburn Rovers and Celtic getting his boots back on to run out...

Britain’s first Dog Fighting arena to get go ahead in Rochdale

The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a perspex surround, much like an ice hockey rink, a licensed...

Sturgeon Calls for Scots Independence to save British Lions Tour

Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand. Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's 61:21 tubbing at the hands of England Ms Sturgeon said; "It...

Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team

The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last 10 years. Three-time Tour de France winner Chris Froome says he...

Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m Olympic final last night. Ambulances services, already stretched to breaking point,...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill judged drunken Tweets last night. Within them he also stated that victims...

Rooney: taking are cuntry bak

As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First. During the halftime team talk, United manager Jose Mourinho told simpleton, Rooney, "I want...
Local Rochdale bowls club rocked by doping allegations

Local Rochdale bowls club rocked by doping allegations

The Annual General Meeting of the Bamford Bowls Club was rocked by a scandal when multiple mens champion David Thrimbleton was accused of cheating by a rival. Thrimbleton, 77, has won the club’s top award for 17...

Sneaky German declares Last Goal’s the Winner and takes ball home

Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!

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