STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.
In an...
Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week.
The decision comes in a week...
Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold
A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...
Smug twat who gave up smoking for New Year has no friends left
New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January.
Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had...
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...
Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...
Women seeking cosmetic surgery to make their genitals look like Michael Gove
The Labia Party have announced new plans to make vaginal cosmetic surgery available on the NHS. The announcement follows news that millions of women...
Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt
Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt.
The...
Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.
Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning.
Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre assessors
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff.
The move has come under heavy criticism...
Creator of Sitcom-Only Medical Procedure Heimlichs Out
US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96.
Dr Heimlich died at a hospital in...
