5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror
A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today.
“Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...
Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS
Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they?
Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were...
May announces bed sharing and brunch in effort to save NHS
The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt
The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Smug twat who gave up smoking for New Year has no friends left
New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January.
Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had...
Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver.
Nathan...
Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked.
"Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers.
NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ?
"We needed someone...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer
A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...
