Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning.
Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail
A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries
People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows.
According...
Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists
We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects.
“The...
My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer
Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area.
Tracy has been a long...
UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies
Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires.
The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range
Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather.
John Welsby...
World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.
Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle.
Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
