20 a day smoker worried 5G mast will give him cancer

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A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Hospital

If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt

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The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...
Katie Hopkins

Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder

6
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
Chris Witty

Chris Witty signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Andrex toilet paper

0
Chris Witty has shocked fans around the world after signing a multi-million pound, multi-decade deal to become the new face of Andrex bog roll. The...
Mike Pence

Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence

0
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...

Creator of Sitcom-Only Medical Procedure Heimlichs Out

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US doctor Henry Heimlich, who invented the manoeuvre used to help victims of choking, has died aged 96. Dr Heimlich died at a hospital in...

Morrissey spends days in bed

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Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

Tory superbug found in pigs

0
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...

Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

7
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...

NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse

4
The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse. Since the vote...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

0
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
homeopath

NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%

Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS. After winning the right...

“NHS crisis just preparation for the zombie apocalypse and everyone should be grateful” says...

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The underfunding and imminent collapse of the NHS is due to a little known government policy on the zombie apocalypse sources have revealed. Zombiepreppers...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

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Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...

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