Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day
Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe.
Mrs May...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
NHS admit to clicking ‘remind me later’ on McAfee update for seven years straight
NHS digital has come under fire from computer security professionals; as an investigation into yesterday's Malware virus has revealed NHS used McAfee and hadn't updated it...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies
Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband. That all changed a...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...
Husband fails to avoid loaded question
A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze
The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned.
The initiative, the budget...
Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking
A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt.
This seemingly controversial move actually...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
