NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism
The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat
For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.
Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked.
"Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.
Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.
Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits
Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics
A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...
Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
