Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.
Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS
The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently.
Please...
STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.
In an...
Daily Express reveal AIDS originally created by Corbyn as anti-Tory bio-weapon
Ground-breaking new research by Daily Express reveals Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, created a modern day plague in league with the IRA
As we all know,...
Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety.
A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
NHS Complimentary Medicine Services near collapse
The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse.
Since the vote...
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS
Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional.
His father, Robert...
NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers.
NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ?
"We needed someone...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism
The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover
Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown.
Researchers were observing the effect...
New male grooming products launched
Metrosexuals all over the country were overcome with delight today as Snake Oil salesmen L'Oreal, released an new line of grooming products for men...
