NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

0
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg announces plan for every UK baby to have his DNA by 2040

0
This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership. According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from...
Bunk Beds

Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds

0
Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...

Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts

0
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

0
People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

0
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Hippy shit

Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally

0
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Glass of orange juice

The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy

0
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and  immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...

Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives

0
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

0
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

12
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

0
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

Coronavirus equals UK mortality rate of Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool

0
The Government has announced that as many people in the UK have died from Coronavirus as have been found dead in Michael Barrymore's swimming...

Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies

0
Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband.  That all changed a...

Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

0
The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

0
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts