Virus tests increase to 1 million a day as Matt Hancock includes tests he’s...

0
The UK government has announced that Covid-19 testing has now far surpassed the target figure, coming in at 1 million a day. Health Secretary, Matt...

Homeopathy shop closed after vegan snake oil found to contain old wives tails

8
A Rochdale homeopathy shop has been forced to close this week after it was discovered to be selling vegan snake oil containing old wives...

Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold

0
A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

11
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Hippy shit

Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally

0
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
homeopath

NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%

Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS. After winning the right...
Boris Johnson

“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze

0
The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget...

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

0
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

0
Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

0
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

0
Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert...

Britain’s Children Rejoice as Broccoli Rationed

1
Playgrounds and schools all over the country were full of joyous celebration as Britain's children heard that Broccoli has been rationed. "Fabbolishus!", declared Ryan Whingeing...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

0
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

Surgeons delighted to confirm the operation to remove Piers Morgan’s head from Donald Trump’s...

0
Surgeon's at London's exclusive Portland hospital have declared the Piersectomy a complete success. In an operation that lasted 8 hours, the world's finest surgeons have...
Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

0
Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...
Tour de France

Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France

0
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts