Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

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Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...

STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances

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Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.  In an...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

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The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...
Boots

Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...

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High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...

Rochdale Infirmary to Trial Office Hours

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Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

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Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...

Doctors desperately hoping Rees Mogg falls ill

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Following Jacob Rees-Mogg's bullying tirade on a doctor who dared challenge his smug assertions on talk radio, many people have challenged the pusillanimous human...
Doctors

NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot

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With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...
anti-vaxxer

My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer

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Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area. Tracy has been a long...

Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees

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The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

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The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...

British Public shocked to learn Pizza and San Miguel not Mediterranean Diet

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Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

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