Supermarkets completely free of dickheads right now, for some reason

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Supermarkets across the country are reportedly completely dickhead free for the first time since 1990 according to sources. The complete absence of knuckle dragging fuckwits...

Sports Personality of the Year changed to ‘Sportsperson’ After Trade Descriptions Probe

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The BBC has announced that their annual jockfest 'Sports Personality of the Year' is to be renamed 'Sportsperson of the Year' following an investigation...

Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team

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The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last...

Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’

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Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...

Angels Pulverise Shrimpers… Again!

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Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle. Rochdale managed to kick the...
Cricket

Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.

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MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket. "It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...

Private school fury as ‘dirty pints’ banned for 16 year old rugby players

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Plans to ban the enforced necking of dirty pints for under 16s rugby players have been widely criticised. The ruling by HSE is...

Ben Stokes argues fighting in street a necessary part of training to tour Australia.

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All-rounder and England vice-captain Ben Stokes may have put his part in England's ashes tour in jeopardy following his arrest in the early hours...

Sturgeon Calls for Scots Independence to save British Lions Tour

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Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand. Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's...

Brazilian kidnappers fail to understand British man’s relationship with mother-in-law

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Bernie Ecclestone is said to have received the news of his mother-in-law's kidnap with mixed emotions this morning In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

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The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...

Donald Trump’s Golf Partner Outraged at Sexist Muirfield

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Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of...

British man understands American football

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A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football. With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or...

Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...

TV producer just can’t quite find the right Kraftwerk song for Tour De France...

2
Local TV producer and sound editor has expressed 'exasperation' in his struggle to find exactly the right song by seminal German synth pioneers to...

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