Science and Technology

A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just tells people he's a drug dealer instead. 29 year old Bill...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's leading far right hate group, Britain First. In the seminal 1985...

The last man intelligent enough to set the clock on the microwave to the correct time has reportedly died aged 74. The man, an astrophysicist and cosmologist who is largely credited with furthering mankind's understanding...

Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend. In a response to the first major accident caused by the mistake...

Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all. Research conducted at the University of Oxford has proven conclusively that a cat on a...

Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London. A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after watching 13 hrs of YouTube videos. Village idiot John Hardwick, unemployed...

There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking. The traffic was particularly dreadful around junction...

There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from 2019 meant the Moon would be getting the network upgrade...

The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots. The Department of Digital, Culture, Media & Sport aims to have over 90% of the nation's pensioners...

Space - Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system, the world of science has been rocked with the news...

Professor Eleanor Goodchild of the Cliff Claven Linguistics faculty at Rochdale Community University has published her findings on Male Answering Syndrome ('MAS'). The Herald's Baz Cordouroy tells us more. Professor Goodchild's study aims to put...

Science - Astronomers have the identity of the biggest object in the known universe, and it's not your average - or even above-average - celestial body. In a statement to the Rochdale Herald, Professor Brian...

South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource". A spokesperson for Mr Musk, who has made astonishing breakthroughs in other forms of...

Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile phone to the northern town. One open-mouthed spectator, Stanley Onions,...

Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car is hotly tipped to win the Nobel Prize for Science. Isambard...

Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is indeed flat. Prof. Cox dropped the bombshell on the scientific world...