Politics

Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers and Muslim women. Correspondence Logistics Operative (the job formally known as...

UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership our finances are in deficit. It's really expensive to keep...

Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck in New York. Mr Johnson and his entourage are currently queuing...

Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I was rather enjoying retirement,” Mr Farage guffawed disarmingly, “spending more...

Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a member of Parliament since 2010, said that he'd simply had...

The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob Rees-Mogg said the following, "The country is over populated and the...

Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap general election. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He told the assembled press pack,...

Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr Cushway aka Lord Pyre, bassist of the "Nazi vampire" themed...

Pint sized, shouty, hater of brown people, Steven Yaxley-Lennon, better known by one of his dozen names 'Tommy Robinson' presumably to sound more British and working class, claimed a free McDonalds milkshake today whilst...

Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in Singapore for £43M. "Brexit is going to be brilliant for UK...

In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide. For many in the current government, the only good thing coming from up North is the HS2...

The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as an economic equivalent of a sympathy shag. The unelected President of...

Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led to British firm De La Rue losing out on the...

The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a General Election he claims he does not want. "Look, it's just...

Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of UKIP greeted the news with cries of "who?" and "whatever".