Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers and Muslim women.

Correspondence Logistics Operative (the job formally known as ‘postie’) Ken Sack told the Rochdale Herald.

“I listened to that politician, you know, him with the hair like an electrocuted Afghan hound, he was on about the burkina or the hihat or whatever you call it and how they were just like letter boxes. Then I went and looked on Tommy Robinson’s Facebook page and everyone was saying how there could be anything in there, like a terrorist with a big beheading knife, so obviously I’m not taking that sort of risk.”

An official for the Postal Officers Trade Union Service, Roy L Mael said “While it’s clear that fears of terrorists lurking in pillar boxes is unfounded, we do realise that there could well be dangers to be found for our workers. They may come into contact with UKIP mailshots, with their known link to impotence; letter bombs from the IRA getting in good and early in advance of the hard border; or, heaven forfend, personal correspondence from Boris Johnson himself.”