It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’
Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...
Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose
It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...
Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats
Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...
Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car
Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today.
David "What Am I...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
No Government is Better than a Bad Government, says May
Theresa May made the announcement after exit polls suggest that no single party will be able to form a government. "Let me be very...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
