In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU.

A hastily formed government led by the president elect, K G Bird, said,

“After years of answering to the undemocratic, unelected and dictatorial Antarctic Union (AU), it is time for us to break free from the cold hands of the polar elite. The referendum last year amongst our population showed a great willingness to regain our sovereignty and get our iceberg back.

Admittedly there was a resistance from, unsurprisingly, the reactionary elements, but what can you expect from the emperor penguins?”

The iceberg may have to wait some time for membership, largely because it is still some 10,000 miles from Europe.

Its credentials for qualification are also in doubt, with its GDP mainly measured in fish, as is its currency.

“Currency reserves are unfortunately unstable, as they have a tendency to rot but if we can join the EU, we hope that the rate of exchange can be ‘frozen’ pending joining the eurozone, then we can ‘let it go’ hahaha!”

After an uncomfortable pause, he added, “Suit yourself.”

An EU spokesman, Valerie de Kilmer, said,

“Well, we’ll look at their application closely and positively but there’s a long way to go yet. There may be a vacancy within the next year or two and if the iceberg, or what’s left of it, can make it to, say, the Azores by then I’m sure we can set the wheels, or should I say, skates hahaha, in motion.”

After another uncomfortable pause, he added,

“Is this microphone working?”

K G Bird hopes to be able to strike a trade deal with the UK in the meantime, although Jeremy Corbyn who has been criticized for being pictured enjoying a pizza with a killer whale and is believed to be ‘cool’ on the idea.

Theresa May however is looking forward to running through the snowfields with Mr Bird.

The president elect who bears a passing resemblance to Danny de Vito, was asked if they had thought of an alternative name for the newly founded country.

“I’m glad you asked me that,” he said, “as we were thinking of Icebergia, or maybe Berglandia, but favourite at the moment, encompassing both our size and glorious moments in icebergian history, is Titanic.”

After an extremely uncomfortable pause, he grinned. “Had you there, didn’t I?”

Baz Cordouroy is an imaginary friend of a cat called Tibbles. He likes nothing more than rolling on his back and having his tummy tickled. Tibbles however likes listening to Schoenberg and watching the films of Jean Renoir.