Parents

Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...

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The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...

Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

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Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...
Police

Grammar police call for tougher sentences

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Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

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Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...

Princess Diana’s ghost gives Express readers advice on how to deal with slippery driving...

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The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather. Speaking through a medium,...
Pregnancy

Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...

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The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...

I’m not homophobic, you’re just a filthy sinner! says singer

It's alright to be a judgey bigoted fuck if it's based on Bronze Age superstition, singer Kim Burrell is insisting.

Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs

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A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access. David...

Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up

The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal. "We're...
Nun Fanny Nicentite

Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof

A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...

Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit

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The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit. No really. The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people. That's not even satire. What the...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

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An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General

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Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.

Rochdale man kicked off Great British Menu

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Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted...

Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something

Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...

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