TV producer just can’t quite find the right Kraftwerk song for Tour De France...

2
Local TV producer and sound editor has expressed 'exasperation' in his struggle to find exactly the right song by seminal German synth pioneers to...
Cricket

Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.

18
MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket. "It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...
Girls Don't Like Boys

Institute for Fiscal Studies claims girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money

11
Economists at The Institute for Fiscal Studies sensationally claimed yesterday that girls don't like boys but they do like cars and money. The report said...

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

0
BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...
Boris Johnson

Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone

0
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...

Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

0
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...

What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?

0
The 5th of March is World Book Day. On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

0
Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...
Morrissey

Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey

0
Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

0
The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...

Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse

9
Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour. Burt...

Britain fails GCSE Economics, Business Studies, French, German, Spanish and History

0
Great Britain was disappointed to learn that she has completely failed GCSE ecomomics, business studies, history, French, German and Spanish today. While GCSE pass rates...

Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion

0
Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

1
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award

0
Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...

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