Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document
Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network
The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped...
Politicians human too. Balls!
Speaking on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 this afternoon, Strictly Come Dancer Ed Balls made the outrageous claim that politicians are...
Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”
Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay.
Bert had...
George Osborne seen in Waitrose buying fava beans and a nice Chianti
Following news reports of comments made by Old Screw Eyes, former chancellor of the Exchequer, serial job hoarder and moneybags George Osborne, it appears...
Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton
Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....
Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring...
Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.
Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...
New survey shows 52% of Daily Mail readers have masturbated to The World At...
Researchers at the University of Rochdale reveal the enduring popularity of the 1970s documentary for gammon spank fodder.
The 1970s documentary, The World At War,...
Emmy Awards honour pale minorities
Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...
Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS
Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional.
His father, Robert...
Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...
Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale
Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...
British Gas CEO insists he’s only rubbing his hands together to keep warm
The CEO of British Gas, Sir Mork Lodges, has advised today he’s only rubbing his hands together to keep warm.
The statement comes on the...
