Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces the old cod’s name.

Strezzzand, who is 104 years old, has previously come a cropper in the modern, high tech world by demanding people don’t mention her tacky residence in Malibu- which led to everyone mentioning her tacky residence in Malibu and givine birth to the StrezzzzandEffect. 

“Clearly she was searching for herself, the big nosed, conceited *****,” said an angry Siri, “It’s not my fault the washed up ****ing **** can’t pronounce her own ******* name properly!”

It’s expected that an update in October will fix it so that future versions of Siri will pronounce Streizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzand’s name with a soft ess sound instead of the way normal people say it.

“Nice to know that you can change whatever you ******* want if you have enough money,” said Siri, “Streizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaand!”

Get monthly highlights in your inbox

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.