David Cameron In Shock After Key Attack On Shed

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A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's prize winning shed. The suspect, believed to be of high...

Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s

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Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as the UK under our likely new Prime Minister Boris "Yes,...
Indian Family

Asian family enjoying post night out curry accused of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry at their local suburban Indian restaurant last weekend. The Sharma family,...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

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In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to all funding for the National Health Service in an effort...

Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.

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A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after finally changing the screen protector on her mobile phone. "I couldn't...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

Pothead Calls Kettle Black; Clinton Challenges Trump To TV Drug Blowout

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Trump Challenges Clinton To Drug Test Prior To Next Debate - Clinton Lashes Back With Drug Taking Contest Challenge US Election 2016; Following Donald Trump's sensational accusation that Hillary Clinton looked 'a bit spliffed up on dope...

Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights

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Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if they no longer worked there. In a show of solidarity with...

Crackdown on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles leaves only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...

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A crackdown today on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles by Facebook and other social media platforms has left only 200 Nigel Farage accounts open. The unprecedented move was a result of the discovery that...

Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.

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The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA on the recent Russian hacking and election tampering. RH: Good afternoon....

Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike

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Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike. "I knew my train had been cancelled an hour beforehand, " Said Mary...

Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules

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Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George will be denied an entry visa to England. Under the likely...

Britain First Demands Mornington Crescent Be Renamed Mornington Cross

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“If they want to have religious symbol in the name, they should rename it Mornington Cross, a proper Christian symbol, much more British,” Golding said.

I am still relevant, insists Nigel Whatsisname

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EU milker and former leader of has been political party UKIP, Nigel Farage has gotten all salty after the government refused to give him a job on the say so of his buddy Donald...

It’s not my fault there aren’t enough Marxists to win a by election insists...

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Following Labour's disastrous defeat in The Copeland by-election Jeremy Corbyn has responded to criticisms of his leadership of The Labour Party by assuring everybody it has nothing to do with his politics or his leadership.

Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency

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After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency. Speaking to disappointed and angry Corbynistas, we got the following statements: "At first I thought...

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