Entertainment

Rochdale couch tuber, Archibald Taggart, has hidden himself away behind a fort made entirely of his Friends and Seinfeld video and DVD box sets, and is refusing to come out. "There wasn't a single white...

This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.  The contestants had been asked to make Fairy Cakes, Chocolate Ring Doughnuts and a large pile of French...

82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced that he is ready to die. Although not in any actual...

The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned. Spokeswoman for the perpetually offender, Rita Right-on told us, "When you analyse the lyrics...

Odd hairstyle, dependent upon Weed, strange manner of attire, frankly incomprehensible language - and you can see who's pulling the strings. Boris Johnson was born to play the part of Ben 'the funny one' Flowerpot. When interviewed,...

The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said a distraught Paul Whittle, a Channel 4 veteran Producer with...

Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon cameo actor will spend the next 10 weeks firing people...

Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these prices they must all be bloody rich as Croesus.  Let's...

With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement from television. The national treasure told the Herald today; "I've had a...

Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown. An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who like masturbating to women doing hard sums, the long-running game...

Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no Meal. The show involves a single Korean contestant trying to beat...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced one of the most indelible villains in movie history, has...

Dad's Army Star Clive Dunn has apologised after being pictured wearing a Nazi uniform. The Sun on Sunday published pictures of the celebrity actor and one time pop-star in a World War Two outfit, including...

The audience at Rochdale's Junkie Bros Circus certainly got more than they bargained for last night when Farage entered the ring. In a bizarre twist, a nervous looking Farage daringly rode a unicycle along...

Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at the Oscars last night. The award, given for Nuttall's provocative portrayal...

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch this afternoon. Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) was on his...