Watership Down

Social services called after Rochdale father makes children watch Watership Down

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A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down. What initially appeared to be a pleasant film,...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

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In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

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Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

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Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

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Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...

Pokémon GOne!

Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone. Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

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Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...
Ant and Dec

Ant or Dec to present Saturday Night Takeaway without Ant or Dec

Ant or Dec is going to present ITV's Saturday Night Takeaway on his or his own for the rest of this series, it has...

Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car

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The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...

Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry

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Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious...

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