Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic

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Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim...

Angry Bake Off viewers demand Noel Fielding ‘get back in the effing fridge’

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Ofcom enquiry expected after record complaints pour in for presenter's poor taste antics. Following the record number of complaints received concerning last week's episode of...
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage

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In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...

Corbyn criticised over links to NWA

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Controversial Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been heavily criticised for his links to rap group NWA. A picture of Jeremy "terrorists are my mates" Corbyn sipping gin and juice with rapper Easy E has been largely shared across social media.

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Burnley Piss Artist awarded lucrative Arts Council Grant

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George Barns (56), life-long Burnley resident, and winner of the coveted Piss Artist of The Year Trophy, has been awarded a lucrative Arts Council...

Elderly white bloke invoking blitz spirit wins Brexit’s Got Talent

In an emotional final show, 102 year old Tommy Atkins held off challengers by singing Vera Lynn songs in a quavering voice in front...
Old man tying shoe laces

Man who can tie his own shoelaces favourite to win Burnley’s Got Talent

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Headlining the, new, ITV Spring schedule is the hit series, Burnley's Got Talent, hosted by one of the Ant and Dec twins. Described by the...

Teenager on Love Island talks b******s for 60 minutes

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Television viewers were left cringing tonight by one of the contestants on hit TV show Love Island. Valerie Still said, "It was awful. They each...

Pokémon GOne!

Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone. Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely...

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