Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon cameo actor will spend the next 10 weeks firing people...

BBC bans racist song White Christmas

The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned. Spokeswoman for the perpetually offender, Rita Right-on told us, "When you analyse the lyrics...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Mrs Brown's Boys

Mrs Brown’s Boys accused of hiding all their funny jokes in offshore accounts

Following recent reports that members of the cast of inexplicably popular BBC "comedy" Mrs Brown's Boys have funds stored in offshore tax havens, The Rochdale Herald has learned of more allegations in relation to...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage

Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'. Corbyn cooly walked out onto the main stage of the popular...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while on a mad Bucky bender many years ago. "I was out...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing production budgets. This ongoing pressure is nowhere more visible than on...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as to who will replace Capaldi in the Doctor's next incarnation,...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”

The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May". A committee member told us, "This work is profound. There is...

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France amidst fears for their safety after the triggering of article...

‘On The Buses’ Star In 70’s Sex Shocker

In light of the recent revelations surrounding the scandalous sexual exploits of certain Hollywood actors and some of our own MP’s, one of Britain’s most well-loved comedy stars has come out with his own...
Idris Elba

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next James Bond could be black or a woman, but obviously...

Corbyn criticised over links to NWA

Controversial Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been heavily criticised for his links to rap group NWA. A picture of Jeremy "terrorists are my mates" Corbyn sipping gin and juice with rapper Easy E has been largely shared across social media.
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny Arkwright, president of BMLC: "This will be the first non...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the news on Twitter that the creator of the cult 60s...
Ed Sheeran

Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music

A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from Rochdale were on their bi-annual night out on Thursday when...

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