Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing production budgets. This ongoing pressure is nowhere more visible than on...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”

The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May". A committee member told us, "This work is profound. There is...

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France amidst fears for their safety after the triggering of article...

Songwriter reveals “Always something there to remind me” was written about Herpes

The Burt Bacharach song, "Always something there to remind me" was written about Herpes. Or that's according to a new documentary to be screened on digital music channel, Scotch Egg 1 over Christmas. During the...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon cameo actor will spend the next 10 weeks firing people...
Idris Elba

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next James Bond could be black or a woman, but obviously...

BBC’s Sooty and Sweep Caught “off-air” in Soo Scandal

The ongoing horror of the BBC's handling of the Soo the Panda sexing-up scandal took another dramatic twist last night as footage emerged of TV Stars Sooty & Sweep making off-air comments about their...
Mrs Brown's Boys

Mrs Brown’s Boys accused of hiding all their funny jokes in offshore accounts

Following recent reports that members of the cast of inexplicably popular BBC "comedy" Mrs Brown's Boys have funds stored in offshore tax havens, The Rochdale Herald has learned of more allegations in relation to...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson arrested outside Big Brother house for live streaming name of 1st evictee

Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside the Big Brother household at around 6pm this evening for...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these prices they must all be bloody rich as Croesus.  Let's...

Pokémon GOne!

Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone. Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely mortified! My Android device vibrated and I was elated to...

JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...

JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage

Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'. Corbyn cooly walked out onto the main stage of the popular...
Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show

Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and saw 900m viewers across Russia tune in to see Mr...

Gary Glitter releases Christmas single, In the Brownies

Gary Glitter is releasing a new single in time for the Christmas number 1 battle. The song, a cover version of "In the Brownies" is Glitter's first new material for 3 decades. A spokesman said, "This...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while on a mad Bucky bender many years ago. "I was out...

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