Meat Loaf isn’t dead
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive.
The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage
Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'.
Corbyn...
Noel Edmonds widely criticised for presenting North Korean game show Meal or No Meal
Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no...
Boris Johnson confirmed to star in remake of Bill and Ben
Odd hairstyle, dependent upon Weed, strange manner of attire, frankly incomprehensible language - and you can see who's pulling the strings.
Boris Johnson was born to...
Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley.
Benny...
Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them
Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...
‘Wiccan Masterchef’ and ‘The Sharifs Are Coming’ to head BBC’s new cultural diversity programming
Bosses at the BBC are poised to announce a list of new TV shows to better reflect the religious views of it's viewers.
As...
Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show
Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...
JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...
JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.
Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
Petition to stop The Simpsons writing ‘Katie Hopkins becoming PrimeMinister’ episode reaches 65 million...
Creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, announced in an interview last week that he was planning an episode in which human bile balloon, Katie...
Man dry retches vital organs up after remote batteries die during episode of The...
Keith Lambert sadly passed yesterday evening, after an horrific coughing fit which was brought on by the prospect of enduring a full hour of...
Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat
82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...
Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice
Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.
All contestants to win The Apprentice this year
The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...
Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track
In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.

















































