EMINEM IN $24m AUCTION MIX UP

World famous rap star Eminem has revealed how he recently purchased a storage unit full of broken IKEA furniture for $24M, purely by accident! Marshall...

Nigel Farage cast as Pinocchio in reboot of Disney classic

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Arron Banks is tipped to direct in his feature debut having amassed an impressive CV of smaller films targeted at indie audiences.

Journalist who faked own death to replace Andrew Lincoln on The Walking Dead

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Russian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, who was believed to have been murdered has turned up alive and announced he will be replacing Andrew Lincoln in, The...
Pyongyang Style

North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style

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North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style". The song, which is his own twist...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
live band

Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience

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According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience. "Standing ankle deep in...

Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus

The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Lucy Worsley

Lucy Worsley to front 10 part series on History of Lucy Worsley

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Dishy blonde TV historian Lucy Worsley Monday announced that she will be presenting a new 10 part series "The Entire History of Lucy Worsley". The new...
Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones is more Narnia With Knockers than Tolkien With Tits says Andrew...

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Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones. "Lord of the Rings is densely written,...
Tommy Robinson

‘Here’s to you Tommy Robinson’ fundraising song campaigns for his release from Twitter jail

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With thanks (and muted apologies) to Simon & Garfunkel But Islam's not a race, they screamed into his brown face And here's to you Tommy...

Candice wins Great British Pout Off 2016

Candice from Bedfordshire has won The Great British Pout Off after ten gruelling weeks of televised puckering.
Candice

Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam

Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

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Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...

Gove to juggle environment portfolio with rent boy role in Midnight Cowboy sequel

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Michael Gove will juggle his new appointment as environment minister with a starring role in the long awaited sequel to 60s cult classic movie,...

Michael Barrymore to present I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

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Michael Barrymore is to present the next series of, "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here". The new series will see contestants head to...

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