Star Wars fan admits films a bit shit really 

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Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest."...

Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand

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Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it. A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

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Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...
Sad Man

Record complaints at Ofcom as latest episode of ‘Tits and Swords’ contains no tits

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Switchboards at UK TV regulators Ofcom were jammed last night after the eagerly anticipated first episode of the new series of Game of Thrones...
George RR Martin

George RR Martin ‘very excited’ to find out what happens in next season of...

The award winning author and Terry Pratchet impersonator George RR Martin has revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he is very excited to find...

Desperate Cheeto – A video by Randy Rainbow

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Ever since we first saw him, we at The Herald have loved the fabulous Randy Rainbow, but he's outdone himself this time. https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1204378566330751 Keep up the...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.

Rochdale man kicked off Great British Menu

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Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted...

I’m not homophobic, you’re just a filthy sinner! says singer

It's alright to be a judgey bigoted fuck if it's based on Bronze Age superstition, singer Kim Burrell is insisting.

Jabba The Hutt denies allegations he’s ever been a movie producer

The interstellar crime boss and CEO of Tatooine’s largest cartel has gone on the record to deny allegations that he has ever received a...

How the fuck do you follow THAT, Dave Grohl screams at Glastonbury organiser after...

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Dave Grohl is alleged to have been quaking having to follow on from Jeremy Corbyn even exclaiming "How the f**k do we follow that." Grohl...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

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The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...
Middle Aged Man

Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead

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Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...

Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage

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Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

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