The Smiths to reform for Cameron benefit concert

5
Legendary 80s Manchester miserablists The Smiths are to reform for a one-off benefit concert for former UK prime minister David Cameron, a spokesperson for...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

0
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

58
Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Radiohead

Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining

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Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue. Immediately after bringing an end...

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...

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Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars

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Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...

DJ Dave’s 80’s FunHouse Mobile Disco Confirmed for Trump Inauguration

3
After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald...
Angry

Seinfeld fan offended by ‘white free’ Luke Cage series

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Rochdale couch tuber, Archibald Taggart, has hidden himself away behind a fort made entirely of his Friends and Seinfeld video and DVD box sets,...

Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage

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Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...
Meal or No Meal

Noel Edmonds widely criticised for presenting North Korean game show Meal or No Meal

22
Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no...
Michael Gove Game of Thrones

Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing

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Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros. It's believed Mr Gove...

GBBO causes football fracas

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It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

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Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...
Johnny Love Island

Love Island Johnny reveals ‘I have the clap’ as bosses rebrand hit show ‘Syphilis...

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Love island viewers were last night in shock after it was revealed the island is to be transformed into a syphilis colony. The revelations came...

BAFTA Life Time Achievement Awards given to every celebrity over 65

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BAFTA are "covering all bases" regarding the prestigious Life Time Award this year a spokesman has confirmed. Samuel Briggs said; "Basically we're giving one of...

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