Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’
Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe.
"All that was left was his right...
BAFTA Life Time Achievement Awards given to every celebrity over 65
BAFTA are "covering all bases" regarding the prestigious Life Time Award this year a spokesman has confirmed.
Samuel Briggs said; "Basically we're giving one of...
Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Speculation had run rife that, having been born...
“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers
Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...
Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic
Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Teenager on Love Island talks b******s for 60 minutes
Television viewers were left cringing tonight by one of the contestants on hit TV show Love Island.
Valerie Still said, "It was awful. They each...
Sex slurs cooking at Great British Bake-off
Channel four’s blue-eyed baker boy Paul Hollywood is reportedly reviewing his role on the hugely popular Great British Bake-Off because of the ever-widening scourge...
Hollywood blockbuster may not feature Benedict Cumberbatch
Controversy struck Hollywood today when news broke that a new high budget movie might not feature Bendable Cramplebitch.
"2017 is a brand new year," said...
Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way.
Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel...
I wish it could be Brexit everyday
When the pounds begins to fall
and economic growth begins to stall
It puts a great big smile on a remainer’s face
If you dive...
Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Love Island’s Amber has a lovely personality, says man with sock on penis
The ITV reality show Love Island has been slammed recently for being 'a shallow excuse to show some flesh in the name of...
George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who
Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...
Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Game of Thrones is more Narnia With Knockers than Tolkien With Tits says Andrew...
Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones.
"Lord of the Rings is densely written,...
