Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim...
Candice

Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam

Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

1
Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’

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Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...

Doctor Who goes back to Gallifrey after announcing ‘I give up’

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The protector of earth with more faces than Big Ben made the announcement on The One Show on Friday. Reflecting on the past 50 year of...

BBC News “Medal Rush” Satire Wins Best Joke Award At Edinburgh 

In a break from tradition the funniest joke award at ths years Edinburgh Festival has been awarded to BBC News.  "Normally we just look for...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

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Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...

Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work

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Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...

Stranger Things shit declares post millennial generation

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Self obsessed cockwomble, Sebastian Tristrum, 14, said "It's crap. I put down my iPhone for a bit and tried to watch it but nothing...

Desperate Cheeto – A video by Randy Rainbow

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Ever since we first saw him, we at The Herald have loved the fabulous Randy Rainbow, but he's outdone himself this time. https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1204378566330751 Keep up the...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...
Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones is more Narnia With Knockers than Tolkien With Tits says Andrew...

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Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones. "Lord of the Rings is densely written,...

Britain First Dates

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After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding...

Hollywood blockbuster may not feature Benedict Cumberbatch

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Controversy struck Hollywood today when news broke that a new high budget movie might not feature Bendable Cramplebitch. "2017 is a brand new year," said...

Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage

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Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...

Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car

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The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...

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