Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead
Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong...
Love Island’s Amber has a lovely personality, says man with sock on penis
The ITV reality show Love Island has been slammed recently for being 'a shallow excuse to show some flesh in the name of...
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
Social services called after Rochdale father makes children watch Watership Down
A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down.
What initially appeared to be a pleasant film,...
Poisonous snake first to leave I’m A Celebrity after failing to overcome fear of...
The program known for subjecting contestants to creepy crawlies, scary animals and filthy challenges is facing a crisis after it has emerged that none...
EMINEM IN $24m AUCTION MIX UP
World famous rap star Eminem has revealed how he recently purchased a storage unit full of broken IKEA furniture for $24M, purely by accident!
Marshall...
Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
Mime artist finds way out of glass box
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box.
There was...
Pokémon GOne!
Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone.
Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely...
Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining
Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue.
Immediately after bringing an end...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
Nigel Farage makes surprise appearance at Rochdale circus
The audience at Rochdale's Junkie Bros Circus certainly got more than they bargained for last night when Farage entered the ring. In a bizarre...
Game of Thrones is more Narnia With Knockers than Tolkien With Tits says Andrew...
Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones.
"Lord of the Rings is densely written,...
