Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun
The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.
BBC bans racist song White Christmas
The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned.
Spokeswoman for the perpetually...
Bradley Walsh cast on Doctor Who to tackle underrepresentation of middle aged white men
Popular presenter of ITV’s The Chase, Bradley Walsh, has been announced today as a new companion in long running BBC sci-fi show, Doctor Who.
The...
“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers
Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...
Morgan/Farage interview to become a movie”The Vaginas Dialogue”
The fascinating story behind Piers Morgan's earth-moving TV interview with seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to become a major motion...
Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
Breadxit: The Great British Taken Off
Love productions, the company behind mindless dirge The Great British Bake Off, has said its show will no longer appear on the BBC after...
Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining
Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue.
Immediately after bringing an end...
Boris Johnson confirmed to star in remake of Bill and Ben
Odd hairstyle, dependent upon Weed, strange manner of attire, frankly incomprehensible language - and you can see who's pulling the strings.
Boris Johnson was born to...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Vic Reeves Corrie Storyline Leaked
After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got...
North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style
North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style".
The song, which is his own twist...
Rochdale man kicked off Great British Menu
Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted...
Google crashes as hipsters race to be “lifelong influenced” by Fats Domino
The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking...
BBC confirm David Icke to host next series of Saturday Kitchen
There was good news for truth seekers, Illuminati exposers and the generally paranoid today, as the BBC confirmed the Son of God David Icke...
