Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy.
The so-called magicians...
“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers
Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...
Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus
The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Petition to stop The Simpsons writing ‘Katie Hopkins becoming PrimeMinister’ episode reaches 65 million...
Creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, announced in an interview last week that he was planning an episode in which human bile balloon, Katie...
Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage
Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...
Lucy Worsley to front 10 part series on History of Lucy Worsley
Dishy blonde TV historian Lucy Worsley Monday announced that she will be presenting a new 10 part series "The Entire History of Lucy Worsley".
The new...
Eastenders ‘Let’s Make a Success of Brexit’ Special to air every night
BBC smash hit soap 'Eastenders' has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of...
Pete Tong devastated after career ending snaps revealed
Pete Tong was said to be devastated this morning after learning that his career as a top international DJ is effectively over.
The former Radio...
Angry Bake Off viewers demand Noel Fielding ‘get back in the effing fridge’
Ofcom enquiry expected after record complaints pour in for presenter's poor taste antics.
Following the record number of complaints received concerning last week's episode of...
Man who can tie his own shoelaces favourite to win Burnley’s Got Talent
Headlining the, new, ITV Spring schedule is the hit series, Burnley's Got Talent, hosted by one of the Ant and Dec twins.
Described by the...
X Factor Totally Not Fixed, Insists Producer Sepp Blatter
After accusations that contestant duo, The Brooks, have financial links to has-been Stock, Aitken and Watermelon product Sinitta and were also guaranteed success on...
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73.
Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...
Cabinet to watch Game of Thrones to pick up tips on killing each other
Theresa May has reportedly ordered her cabinet, and junior ministers, to watch Game of Thrones in order to get better at killing one another.
This...
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
