Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called ‘Raif’.

Ralph Johnson of Middleton said;

“Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself Raif we all thought it was cool so we did too.”

Ralph Bradshaw from Stockport interrupted;

“Yeah but now it’s just gone too hipster. If I introduce myself now the first thing people ask me is if I vape.”

Raif Fiennes declined to comment.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.