Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Seinfeld fan offended by ‘white free’ Luke Cage series
Rochdale couch tuber, Archibald Taggart, has hidden himself away behind a fort made entirely of his Friends and Seinfeld video and DVD box sets,...
Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment.
"If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...
Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor
Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special.
Speculation has been rife as...
Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience
According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience.
"Standing ankle deep in...
Singer-songwriter Phil Collins to release Death Metal album
Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of...
Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus
The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music
A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music.
Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996.
“Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Survey reveals homeless choose to live on streets so they cannot appear on Come...
To many, the issue of homelessness invokes thoughts of a person falling on hard times, perhaps even drink, drugs, or criminality. Now, the latest...
Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere.
Right wing nutjob...
Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...
Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands.
The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...
