Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

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Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...

Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation 

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Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'. Ralph Johnson of Middleton said; "Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...
Nun Fanny Nicentite

Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof

A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’

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Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...
George RR Martin

George RR Martin ‘very excited’ to find out what happens in next season of...

The award winning author and Terry Pratchet impersonator George RR Martin has revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he is very excited to find...

Exclusive! Keith Richards talks about 2016

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A bright New Year's Day and I am sitting in the fashionable Chelsea bistro 'Hereafter' waiting for Keef, as I know him, to arrive.  Amazingly,...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...

Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats

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Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig. It is estimated that,...

Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them

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Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

BBC to replace Great British Bake off with The Super English Cake Off

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I resent the implication - said an angry Tracy Naylor, head of food entertainment at the Beeb who had agreed to meet me in...
Homeless

Survey reveals homeless choose to live on streets so they cannot appear on Come...

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To many, the issue of homelessness invokes thoughts of a person falling on hard times, perhaps even drink, drugs, or criminality. Now, the latest...

Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice

Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.

“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

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Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

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President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...

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