Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena

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Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform. The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

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The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat

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82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

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BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...

Love Island’s Amber has a lovely personality, says man with sock on penis

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The ITV reality show Love Island has been slammed recently for being 'a shallow excuse to show some flesh in the name of...

Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.

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US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who. In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Noel Edmunds

Channel 4 axes Deal Or No Deal after contestant cracks formula

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Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's...
child

Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas

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A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...
Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show

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Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...

Oscars turmoil as Trump mistakenly awarded prize as “President of La La land”

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The 90th annual academy award "Oscars" ceremony was thrown into turmoil when Donald Trump was mistakenly awarded the best actor prize for his role...

Morgan/Farage interview to become a movie”The Vaginas Dialogue”

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The fascinating story behind Piers Morgan's earth-moving TV interview with seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to become a major motion...

“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green

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The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...

Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones

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Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

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The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...

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