Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats

118
Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig. It is estimated that,...

Celebrity Big Brother get Saw makeover

As the launch of the zillionth series of Celebrity Big Brother plans to get underway in just a few hours, The Rochdale Herald can...

Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”

0
Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay. Bert had...
Jack Whitehall

Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic

Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Doctor Who

Gritty realism of Doctor Who ‘stretched beyond credulity’ by absence of penis

0
Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet...

Nigella returns with a series on how to wank vegetables

0
After a 5 year absence from our screens while laying into toot, Nigella Lawson returns to our screens this week with a series dedicated...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

0
Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

53
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...

Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”

0
Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake

0
Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins. Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...

BBC confirm David Icke to host next series of Saturday Kitchen

0
There was good news for truth seekers, Illuminati exposers and the generally paranoid today, as the BBC confirmed the Son of God David Icke...

Paul Hollywood slammed for attending birthday party dressed as Nigel Farage

48
Great British Bake Off star Paul Hollywood has apologised after being pictured dressed as Nigel Farage at a fancy dress party. The 51-year-old said the...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

0
Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

0
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
Michael Gove Game of Thrones

Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing

7
Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros. It's believed Mr Gove...

Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.

0
US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts