Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...
All contestants to win The Apprentice this year
The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...
Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller
Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War.
The...
Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
Roy Walker: he’s good, but he’s not right
Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats...
I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...
Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one...
Cabinet to watch Game of Thrones to pick up tips on killing each other
Theresa May has reportedly ordered her cabinet, and junior ministers, to watch Game of Thrones in order to get better at killing one another.
This...
‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging
Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...
Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent
The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win.
Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus
The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Diane Abbott confirmed as new host for next series of NumberWang!
Labour MP and maths whiz Diane Abbott has been confirmed today as the new host of NumberWang!, the daytime TV quiz show.
Speaking today from...
Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs
A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged.
Music fan Lennie Payne...
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
