Murder she wrote woman not dead
Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced.
"Appearing as...
Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall
Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...
BBC bans racist song White Christmas
The BBC working on advice from Institute for Cultural Correctness has announced that the song, White Christmas is to be banned.
Spokeswoman for the perpetually...
The Smiths to reform for Cameron benefit concert
Legendary 80s Manchester miserablists The Smiths are to reform for a one-off benefit concert for former UK prime minister David Cameron, a spokesperson for...
Dame Judi Dench Shows Off New Tattoo
Dame Judi Dench, 81 years young, gave the world it's first sneak preview of her first ever tattoo at this afternoon's premiere of Aladdin...
Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike
Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada.
His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince...
Elderly white bloke invoking blitz spirit wins Brexit’s Got Talent
In an emotional final show, 102 year old Tommy Atkins held off challengers by singing Vera Lynn songs in a quavering voice in front...
It’s Official. Report Confirms James Corden Is Not Funny
The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny.
Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about...
Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia
A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.
Britain First Dates
After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding...
Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who
In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...
Gary Barlow wins 2017 Nobel Lit Prize
In news from the future today, we have learned that Gary 'Tory Tax Breaks' Barlow is/will be the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize...
Remember the Wombles? Forgotten 70’s BBC stars found starving in hole in ground
In their 1970s heyday they topped the charts with popular sing-a-long anthems like "Remember You're a Womble" and "Wombling Merry Christmas."
But after the hits...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who
Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...
