Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction

The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

Big Brother viewers in shock that vapid celebrities are vapid

Viewers of one of Channel 5's only TV shows with an audience, Celebrity Big Brother, are in shock today after it came to light...
Bake Off

God Ruins Bake Off

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This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.  The contestants had been asked to make Fairy...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

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Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Angry man, steam coming from ears

BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’

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Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

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The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...

Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream

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After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...

Tom Hiddleston does a runner.

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Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...
Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness

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Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

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Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by...

Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation 

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Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'. Ralph Johnson of Middleton said; "Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...
Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

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Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...

Gary Glitter releases Christmas single, In the Brownies

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Gary Glitter is releasing a new single in time for the Christmas number 1 battle. The song, a cover version of "In the Brownies" is...

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