Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The favourite of many to replace Daniel Craig as the next...

Feminist nominated for comedy award they didn’t enter after Facebook tirade

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Ipswich feminist Leigh Askew has been included on the shortlist for a new category at the British Comedy Awards. The inaugural Funniest Social Media Post award has been included to reward those lesser known comedians...

Man who ate World’s hottest chilli for likes doesn’t regret a thing as everyone...

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The trend of being a total dickhead and doing something horrendously stupid to upload to social media just so other stupid people will click their like button looks set to grow and grow with...

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...
Noel Edmunds

Channel 4 axes Deal Or No Deal after contestant cracks formula

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Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's remained an enigma for the show's entire 11 year run,...
Old man tying shoe laces

Man who can tie his own shoelaces favourite to win Burnley’s Got Talent

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Headlining the, new, ITV Spring schedule is the hit series, Burnley's Got Talent, hosted by one of the Ant and Dec twins. Described by the producers, as a laugh a minute romp through the minds...

Meat Loaf isn’t dead

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Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently didn't die between recording his last album and the one...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

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In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The aim is to change public opinion; to be seen as...
Lionel Richie

I’ve never danced on a ceiling, confession SHOCK

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Rumours are rife about the quite tall, big-faced singing star after he has "fessed up" to not dancing on ceilings. The 80's porkie-pie uttering singer has told reporters "Look, i just made it up...

Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown

Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown. An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who like masturbating to women doing hard sums, the long-running game...

Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation 

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Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'. Ralph Johnson of Middleton said; "Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself Raif we all thought it was cool so we did...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

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Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be crap. On the back of the successful Housewives of Orange County...
Bake Off

God Ruins Bake Off

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This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.  The contestants had been asked to make Fairy Cakes, Chocolate Ring Doughnuts and a large pile of French...
Darth Vader

Ken Loach to direct next Star Wars film ‘Empire on Strike’ as gritty Northern...

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Star Wars fans have been shocked by Disney's announcement that Star Wars episode IX will be directed by Ken Loach, who plans to pivot the sci-fi franchise towards gritty social realism based in a...

Desperate Cheeto – A video by Randy Rainbow

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Ever since we first saw him, we at The Herald have loved the fabulous Randy Rainbow, but he's outdone himself this time. https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1204378566330751 Keep up the great work Randy and we'll send you a free mug...
Ed Sheeran

Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music

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A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from Rochdale were on their bi-annual night out on Thursday when...

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