Vic Reeves Corrie Storyline Leaked

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After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got...

Cliff Richard still not a nonce confirms BBC

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Singer, God-botherer and long term bachelor for no particular reason is still not suspected of fiddling with young men, according to a BBC report. The...
Middle Aged Man

Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead

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Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Darth Vader

Ken Loach to direct next Star Wars film ‘Empire on Strike’ as gritty Northern...

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Star Wars fans have been shocked by Disney's announcement that Star Wars episode IX will be directed by Ken Loach, who plans to pivot...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

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The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
Game of Thrones

Cabinet to watch Game of Thrones to pick up tips on killing each other

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Theresa May has reportedly ordered her cabinet, and junior ministers, to watch Game of Thrones in order to get better at killing one another. This...
Peter Capaldi

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

7
“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

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BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...
Candice

Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam

Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.

Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.

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Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

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Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”

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The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May". A...
Jeremy Clarkson

Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia

A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.

It’s Official. Report Confirms James Corden Is Not Funny

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The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny. Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about...

Roy Walker: he’s good, but he’s not right

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Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats...

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