Phil Collins

Phil Collins says 80s were his Coldplay years

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Phil Collins has been telling the Saga trade magazine, Zimmer how he sees the 1980's as his Coldplay years. Collins told the magazine, "Look, when...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

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The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...

Gove to juggle environment portfolio with rent boy role in Midnight Cowboy sequel

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Michael Gove will juggle his new appointment as environment minister with a starring role in the long awaited sequel to 60s cult classic movie,...
Kim'll Fix It

Netflix wins rights to top North Korean show Kim’ll fix it

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Netflix have been named as winners of a bidding war that saw them win the rights to show the hit Korean show, Kim'll Fix...

Journalist who faked own death to replace Andrew Lincoln on The Walking Dead

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Russian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, who was believed to have been murdered has turned up alive and announced he will be replacing Andrew Lincoln in, The...

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

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In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is...
Game of Thrones

Cabinet to watch Game of Thrones to pick up tips on killing each other

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Theresa May has reportedly ordered her cabinet, and junior ministers, to watch Game of Thrones in order to get better at killing one another. This...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

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Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...

Roy Walker: he’s good, but he’s not right

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Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats...

GBBO causes football fracas

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It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...

Tim Farron to star in 2017 remake of Sophie’s Choice

Universal Pictures have announced this week that they will be remaking the 1982 Academy Award winning classic Sophie's Choice with Tim Farron in the lead role made famous by Meryl Streep.
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

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John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...

Victory for disability campaigners as Broccoli family confirm next Bond will be paraplegic

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The next James Bond will be played by a paraplegic actor, Eon Productions has announced. Auditions for Daniel Craig’s replacement will begin in the summer...
Family Watching Television

ITV to rival Gogglebox with show about idiots watching morons watching television

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Channel 4 have been ratings kings for the last few years with their flagship show, Gogglebox.  In the surprise smash idiots get to watch...

Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual

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We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...

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