X distances itself from factor

0
For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

0
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Middle Aged Man

Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead

24
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

23
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...

Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

0
The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Samuel L. Jackson agrees to play Trump in upcoming biopic

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It has been announced that veteran Hollywood actor Samuel L. Jackson will play Donald Trump in a biopic scheduled to be released in late...

“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

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Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

Nigella returns with a series on how to wank vegetables

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After a 5 year absence from our screens while laying into toot, Nigella Lawson returns to our screens this week with a series dedicated...

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

0
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

0
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

0
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

5
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

Journalist who faked own death to replace Andrew Lincoln on The Walking Dead

0
Russian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, who was believed to have been murdered has turned up alive and announced he will be replacing Andrew Lincoln in, The...
Thatcher in the Rye

Theresa May autobiography ‘Thatcher In The Rye’ for September release

5
Controversy was the buzz word in the publishing world today with news that Theresa May has handed in the manuscript for her autobiography "Thatcher...

Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry

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Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

61
Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon...

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