“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

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Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

Jabba The Hutt denies allegations he’s ever been a movie producer

The interstellar crime boss and CEO of Tatooine’s largest cartel has gone on the record to deny allegations that he has ever received a...
Sad Man

Record complaints at Ofcom as latest episode of ‘Tits and Swords’ contains no tits

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Switchboards at UK TV regulators Ofcom were jammed last night after the eagerly anticipated first episode of the new series of Game of Thrones...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

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In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...

Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles

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Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point. Departure, a new...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Star Wars Millennium Falcon

Millennium Falcon and on and on and on

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As fans eagerly anticipate the latest film in the Star Wars saga, Rogue One, plans have been revealed for yet more films to be made.
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake

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Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins. Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...

Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them

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Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...

JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...

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JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

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The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

Argentina demand the return of Love Island

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Britain has become embroiled in an unexpected diplomatic farrago as ITV2’s ‘Love Island’ draws to a dramatic close with Argentina demanding the return of...

Morgan/Farage interview to become a movie”The Vaginas Dialogue”

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The fascinating story behind Piers Morgan's earth-moving TV interview with seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to become a major motion...

La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’

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La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...

Marvel say Super-Gonorrhoea ‘unlikely’ to feature in new Avengers movie

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Marvel Studios have confirmed that there are currently no plans for the gonorrhoea 'superbug' to star in its next instalment of the Avengers franchise. Referred to...

George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who

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Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...

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