Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat
Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself.
The one time Klingon...
La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’
La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof
A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...
Pokémon GOne!
Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone.
Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely...
Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment.
"If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...
Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage
Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'.
Corbyn...
Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena
Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform.
The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...
Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”
Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...
Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...
Pete Tong devastated after career ending snaps revealed
Pete Tong was said to be devastated this morning after learning that his career as a top international DJ is effectively over.
The former Radio...
Climate crisis totally worth it if it stops Coldplay touring, says Greta Thunberg
Greta Thunberg has announced that complete environmental collapse will be worth it now that Coldplay have announced they will stop touring to help save...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Blair to build fantasy superhero based theme park Blair World in central London
Amid all the depressing news at the moment, spirits of Londoners have been lifted by some entertainment news. Tony Blair has announced he will...
BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’
Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...
