Family Watching Television

ITV to rival Gogglebox with show about idiots watching morons watching television

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Channel 4 have been ratings kings for the last few years with their flagship show, Gogglebox.  In the surprise smash idiots get to watch...
Lucy Worsley

Lucy Worsley to front 10 part series on History of Lucy Worsley

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Dishy blonde TV historian Lucy Worsley Monday announced that she will be presenting a new 10 part series "The Entire History of Lucy Worsley". The new...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

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Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

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The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...

Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce

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Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed. A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
live band

Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience

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According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience. "Standing ankle deep in...
Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim...
Alanis Morisette

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

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Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.
Katie Hopkins

Poisonous snake first to leave I’m A Celebrity after failing to overcome fear of...

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The program known for subjecting contestants to creepy crawlies, scary animals and filthy challenges is facing a crisis after it has emerged that none...
Tardis

Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who

In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...

Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun

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The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...

Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic

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Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.

Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.

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The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...

Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017

It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...

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