Entertainment

Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one of the biggest tv shows, it appears that one of...

Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for the wobbly headed Fab Four. To date since the band broke...

Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside the Big Brother household at around 6pm this evening for...

X Factor viewers are hailing last nights episode of The X Factor, the greatest episode ever after the sound failed. The still inexplicably popular show, featuring people sucking the life and soul out of once beloved songs for the...

Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no Meal. The show involves a single Korean contestant trying to beat...

Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch this afternoon. Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) was on his...

Michael Barrymore is to present the next series of, "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here". The new series will see contestants head to a remote island where they will spend three weeks living...

Fans of the popular game were left distraught today when they awoke to find that Pokémon has gone. Clive Humperdunk, 8, stated "I was absolutely mortified! My Android device vibrated and I was elated to...

The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer at work. The claims have been made by an ex...

Comedy cultural commentator and serial gag-pincher Andrew Neil has disagreed with the Herald's analysis of Game of Thrones. "Lord of the Rings is densely written, heroic and dry as a nun's knickers," he is quoted...

Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A mass of floral tribute has already began to appear outside...

A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not to be named, said "When we first announced the parts...

In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already by mucking up a perfectly simple reverse park into two...

Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of "girl power" with his former chart topping group. "The Spice Girls". Spicer...

BBC2 finally came to Burnley yesterday. The TV channel, which first aired to the british public in 1967, finally made its first transmition to the North England town yesterday. We asked the BBC to...