The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny.
Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about pervert Harvey Weinstein at a charity gala in Hollywood, the internet went into meltdown, with many calling for Corden to be sacked or put in jail.
A Hollywood insider told us “Corden is about as funny as a dead catfish. He came over to the US because the UK were onto him and knew he was an irritating has-been. Initially he had some success as a comedian but, let’s face it, us Americans will laugh at roadkill.
“He thinks sitting in a car singing songs and pretending to be best mates with rock stars is the pinnacle of comedy but, frankly, it just winds people up. Even the Foo Fighters called their recent Carpool Karaoke experience with him ‘uncomfortable’ after they were stuck in a car with him for 3 hours, and they usually get along with everyone.”
The Rochdale Herald has suspected for some time that Corden wasn’t funny so we commissioned a scientific study from the Knotty Ash Institute for Comedy. Experts there analysed Corden’s previous performances and also his DNA to discover if he was at all hilarious.
Professor Dingler, a world-renowned expert in comedy at the institute, advised “We have done a comprehensive study on Mr Corden. To begin with we analysed his breakthrough performances in the alleged sitcom Gavin and Stacey.
“Unfortunately we could not find anything to laugh about. It was basically a couple of idiots saying ‘Gavlar’ and ‘What’s occurring?’ over and over again until I wanted to kick the telly in. I’ve had more laughs having colon surgery without anaesthetic.”
He continued “The DNA test showed that Mr Corden lacked the vital genes needed to be comical. We discovered that these genes had been replaced by those causing the subject to be unbelievably annoying, which are also seen in similar quantities in Piers Morgan and David Dickinson. In conclusion we failed to find any evidence that James Corden is funny.”
Last night the Rochdale Herald spoke to some tumbleweed in the US. It said “I used to turn up at Corden’s gigs and just casually blow through the room but now it’s just become embarrassing. I have a reputation to consider.”