Man adamant he wanted nowt for Christmas now angry and petulant he got what...
An angry Rochdale man who swore to friends and relatives he wanted nothing except "maybe a skip" for all the stuff he already owns...
Santa sacks Rudolph due to his low productivity levels
It's "snow" joke.
Santa has sensationally sacked his seasonal sidekick, Rudolph.
The reason was that the much-loved face of animal disability was displaying typically...
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Daily Express unveils new corporate logo
The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend
Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago.
A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
‘Fuck equality’ says equalities boss
The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week;
"Everyone is equal and all religions should be...
White van man smashes World Land Speed Record
A plumber’s apprentice from Birtle has utterly smashed the world land speed record on the M66 in a white Peugeot van.
The news that Jamie...
Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...
The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
People who start sentences with ‘I’m not racist, but’ are definitely about to say...
Indeed, not one instance was found of a non-racist comment following "I'm not a racist, but."
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…
Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair's attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the...
People who tell it like it is always bloody cretins, reveal experts
Ground-breaking cooperative research between experts in Linguistics, Social Sciences, and Psychology sheds light on evidence that those who "tell it like it is" are...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus.
"It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike"
Smith drew...
