Local News

A man from Rochdale who refers to himself as an 'alpha-male' is in fact just a bit of a dickead sources have revealed. The news follows reports of a man in Rochdale who refers to...

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the back room. The incident occurred at around 4pm local time as...

It may only be July but there are only two Prime Ministers until Christmas. That's according to the British Christmas Monitoring League. The warning comes as many Britons are still enjoying long evening, warm temperatures...

Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth There are certain core truths you learn early in life.  English summers are greyer than England football...

It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could go ahead as early as this week. The plan will see...

A Rochdale man who failed GCSE science has revealed that he is now an expert in Novichok. Bill Board revealed his previously hidden talents in Chemistry last night over a few pints in the...

Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service were today boosted in their thankless quest to control the ongoing fires sweeping Saddleworth Moor by the news that they are to receive less funding to aid them. With...

There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World Heritage site from 2019. The move comes after the town was...

A Rochdale man has been telling us of his disappointment at not being made to take his England flag down by the police. Martin William's erected the flag on his house today and has...

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old commuter, Hadley Rollins said, "I get on the train at...

Learner drivers in Rochdale have been getting to know the high octane thrill of queuing on the M62 for the first time today. The government has for the first time allowed learner drivers to...

A Rochdale man has been told to put a top on whilst he does the gardening as he's in no danger of ever being mistaken for Poldark. Eccentric loner, 38 year old Stan Still said,...

Hundreds of Burnley schoolchildren are now aware of the existence of deodorant thanks to the recent playground craze. The craze involves spraying deodorant from a can onto bare skin until the recipient can no longer...

Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain. Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, "In ancient times the...

A Rochdale man has explained what happened when, on a whim, he decided to buy his wife an ironing board for her birthday and thought he had best ask which colour she would prefer. Speaking...