It may only be July but there are only two Prime Ministers until Christmas. That’s according to the British Christmas Monitoring League.

The warning comes as many Britons are still enjoying long evening, warm temperatures and for English people the continued success of the English Football team. But people are being warned that there are only now two Prime Ministers reigns in which to get their shopping done.

One retail consultant told us, “This is a stark warning for anybody considering doing their shopping late. With many high street shops closing down there may not be any left open if you leave it too late. At the rate things have been going in the first half of the year only petrol stations will be left come the second Prime Minister.”

Another analyst said, “Each year people leave it to their last UKIP leader and each year we see peoples loved ones missing out. This year we’re hoping that by warning people early they’ll be better prepared and will get their loved ones something special. People are going to need their families more than anything over the coming months. Who else are they going to eat when they run out of food next April?”

One Rochdale resident told us, “It’s only seems 5 minutes since we were shivering for warmth on the M62 and there were 60 UKIP leaders until Christmas. Now it’s warm but there are only 2 Prime Ministers.”

It’s understood that soft fruit picking equipment is going to be the biggest selling present this year.

 

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.