Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state...
Independence Day

Trump leads Independence day celebrations by honouring Goldblum and Smith

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It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate...
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

Trump Invades Iraq

President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Trump’s spin doctor quits complaining of dizzy spells

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Donald Trump's chief spin doctor Tuesday quit his job in the White House complaining of "dizzy spells". Mike Dubke, who only took up the role...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...

Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce

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Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed. A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
Dance Off

Kim Jong Un can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul

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“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit

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EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

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Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...

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