President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair.
The former British PM, referred to by White House officials as T-Bone, was invited to the White House on Saturday by Steve Bannon.
“No one knows the Middle East like T-Bone.” A Halliburton spokesman said later. “When we asked Bannon to help boost our stock price we knew he’d find the right man to talk to Trump.”
In the meeting, referred to as a “flash” by White House staff, because that’s the limit of Trump’s attention span, Blair produced a napkin. Next a crayon.
Trump attempted to grab the items and draw a face but Tony was firm and kept hold of both.
Next Mr. Blair is believed to have drawn a square, wrote IRAQ inside it and then scrawled an equals sign to the right of the square. Next he draw a picture of a bomb, labelling it BIG.
Apparently an endless series of dollar signs filled the rest of the napkin.
Reports that the reverse was later filled in with coffins are unverified.
“Tony told him to Tweet “Iraq = Bad = Secret Bombs. Big bad bombs. Not learned lesson. Time to bring the pain again.””
The invasion is scheduled to coincide with the Senate investigation into Trump’s links with Russia and last for at least four years, with the possibility of extending to eight, if Trump is re-elected.