New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars
Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...
US announces National Police Shooting League
Excitement is mounting in the United States ahead of the launch of the National Police Shooting League.
20,000 law enforcement agencies will be competing for...
Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs
Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets.
The move comes after...
Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters
Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation
The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat
Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter.
The Toddler is running for the...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...
Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’.
In a...
Angry terrorist given away by distinctive red hat
An angry teenager with the mental age of an eleven year old suspected of international terrorism offences has been arrested because he was wearing...
Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks
A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many...
President Trump recorded offering Mike Pence presidency in exchange for Trump family pardon ticket
Leaked recordings of President Trump phoning vice president Mike Pence from a golf course appear to reveal the sitting president has offered Pence the...
Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’
Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...
