Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

44
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

0
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

1
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

39
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

0
Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
water cannon

German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit

14
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...

Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France

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A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...
Trial by Combat

Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations

Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.  She...

Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

0
Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

0
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...

Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

0
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

0
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

0
The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

0
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

DUP ask Merkel for one billion Euros to give her their support in Bundestag

9
News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

0
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

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