Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane
Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane.
Refugees from...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone.
Not since the 11th century has there...
UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar
With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...
NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump
NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.
One spokesman said, "It may seem strange that we're...
Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.
Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...
Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’
Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God.
"They teach children -children!- that they can choose...
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost
The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...
Marine Le Pen demands Malian be charged with breaking and entering
Marine Le Pen has demanded to know why a Malian refugee was given citizenship and not arrested for breaking and entering over the weekend....
Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
