Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory

15
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

10
The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

0
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

0
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

1
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower

0
Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...

Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

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Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

39
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

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The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

0
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

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An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...

Farage takes on Eurovision

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In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

4
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person

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Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...

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