Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday.
Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...
Italians face criticism over construction.
The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo
It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...
World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote
World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award
The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy
MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in...
Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...
NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump
NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.
One spokesman said, "It may seem strange that we're...
