A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on the University of Catania campus in Italy.

However, it has now been decided that no crime was actually committed.

After hearing of Pietro’s good news we were keen to learn how he pulled it off. It seems that the Italian parliament passed a law last year decriminalising the offence of lurking in places frequented by girls in order to be seen squeezing your salami.

Which is pretty creepy.

He was originally found guilty, and then again on appeal, but the supreme court decided that the parliamentary act over-ruled any previous rulings.

“They passed a bill that says you can publicly pull your prosciutto,” said a spokesman, “churning your cheese in public is no longer illegal in this wonderful free country.”

In Britain, pulling the pink pole in public will guarantee around 14 days in prison.

Asked how he felt, Pietro said “I feel a tremendous sense of relief. It’s definitely a load off.”

When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.