NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.

One spokesman said, “It may seem strange that we’re doing this as the USA basically kept the Soviet Union out of Western Europe for the second half of the century. But here we are. We were trying to drop hints by aligning behind France. I mean, France for gods sake. You’d have thought that would have been the signal but no. He totally missed that. So, we’re pretty much doomed.”

A spokesman for the US Government told us, “We should take the positives away from this summit. Nobody brings people together quite like POTATUS. He’s managed to unite people from a diverse set of backgrounds with different competing interests in mutual loathing for him. For god sake, the Turks and Greeks are off out for a kebab tonight so they can discuss how much they hate him.”

Todays summit came to a premature end after POTATUS stormed off. The premature end is something many of the delegates wish POTATUS father had considered.

It’s alleged that NATO leaders are considering various tactics to get POTATUS back on side. These range from getting Angela Merkel to dress up as Kim Jong Un to procuring some Russian prostitutes, a hotel room, a hidden camera and several pints of piss. 

“Yes, that should do it”, said Princess Anne.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.