EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced.

Speaking to the House of Commons, Amber Rudd explained that they would require “some sort of documentation” to distinguish them from any migrants lucky enough to enter the UK after it leaves the EU.

A Home Office spokesperson said that the government had looked at a range of options, including identity cards, but decided to go with a more practical, clothing-based alternative.

“We were thinking armbands, initially,” said one civil servant, “though we’ll also be supplying fabric badges that can be sewn directly onto garments, as we know how people love to accessorise. Admittedly, these options do have some unfortunate historical connotations but we feel that they very much fit in with the mindset of Brexit Britain.”

However, a spokesperson for UKIP suggested that the proposals did not go far enough.

“Tattoos or nothing,” he stated. “Little barcodes on the backs of their necks, that’s what we need. It’s not much of an issue with the brown ones but at the moment we don’t know if white people are foreign until they open their mouths”.  He went on;

“We fought in two world wars for the right to be scared of foreigners in this country and it’s only right that that sacrifice is honoured with a practical way to discriminate against minorities.”

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