Italian President, Sergio Mattarella has told the UK that having no Government is better than having a bad Government following the Italian people electing to go with none of the above in the most recent election.
The Herald couldn’t get an interview with a Government spokesman. Instead, Italian farmer Ricardo Fumagalli told the Herald, “In Italy we have so much experience of bad Governments. We had one Prime Minister who was put on trial for being a member of the mafia and spent years ripping off most of the public with dodgy deals. He was even charged and found guilty of murdering a journalist.”
“We had Silvio Berlusconi. A man who had plastic surgery and now looks like a wax work. Everyone remembers the bunga bunga parties but nobody remembers that he was wearing a bandage on his head during a state visit. He made out that it didn’t exist even though he looks like a pirate in all of the photographs from that time. It’s just embarrassing. So we’ve decided to go without a Government for the time being.”
UK Government spokesman, Lemule Over-Promoted said, “Imagine how this country would have gone on without a Government to guide it? Members of the armed forces wouldn’t have been offered the same opportunity for travel to exciting places like Iraq. We might never have had that vote on the EU that seems to have caused loads of problems that nobody could have foreseen. No, we need people like Boris Johnson to hold the country together. Pretty soon the Italian people will be back wanting a Government to offer solutions to their problems.”
However, not everybody agrees. Belgian writer Jaques Buchner said, “We had no Government for almost 2 years. It was a glorious time. People were able to get on without interference. The whole world didn’t collapse and we didn’t have to spend weeks listening to them make excuses for things. Plus, it was way cheaper not having to pay their wages.”
Shaun O’Shaughnasseigh said, “It’s definitely the way to go. Everyone told us the whole of society would collapse without a Government. I’d be forced to eat the neighbours, I’d have to use those tokens from Asda as barter and we’d be living in our own filth.”
The IMF seemed to agree saying, “This is brilliant. This will make re-negotiating the loans to Italy a whole lot easier.”