America

News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course on sexual harassment citing that he is already pretty damn...

As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit, where it is acceptable to proclaim "Brexit means Brexit" and...

The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they were allowed to carry guns.  The statement was released in the...

Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter. The Toddler is running for the President of the United States but this week managed to...

As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called to the stand and indicted himself, for incitement. In the federal...

News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man carrying a sledgehammer was arrested shortly after the event but...

Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.

President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs and ice queens, though Kellyanne Conway has secured an exemption. The...

Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best known for his recurring role as Third Klingon in Star...

The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the scoring system. The USAOC had lobbied to have Police-State Violence -...

President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press conference with reporters after landing in Berlin and delivered his...

But ma guns. A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and the West Bank/Gaza combined. Even Latin American countries over run...

It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling finding raises all manner of questions, primarily; why? The result...

President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision in keeping with his campaign promise to never stop surprising...

In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate for 2020. Harvey, which is expected to tear across Texas causing...

As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in any capacity emotion swept the community.  Many people vented their anger...