US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob

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Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

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Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

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Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

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Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

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President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was...

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

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Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...

Trump campaign an elaborate game of  ‘Electoral Chicken’

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Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game...
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

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Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...

College Professor assaults Trump supporter

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A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...

US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Trump Family KKK Photograph

Donald Trump tells world press there were good people at White Supremacist Rally

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Donald Trump told a press conference that there were good people amongst the white supremacists and Neo-Nazis at the Charlottesville Unite the Right protest...

Trump and Steve Bannon to wrestle naked for alt-right leadership

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It has emerged that President Donald Trump and Breitbart Chief Steve Bannon have apparently arranged to wrestle naked on the White House South Lawn...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year

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Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...

Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration

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Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday. Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said; "Its nothing...

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