Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

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Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a...
Elephants

NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...

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The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...

Hilary Clinton’s emails confirm she would have already nuked North Korea

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Further extracts reveal she had plans to construct “Wall Street on the Korean Peninsula” once the “dust and stuff has settled.”
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...
Donald Genius Trump

Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets

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News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several...
Trump Golf Twitter

FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl

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The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today. One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on...

Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother

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After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother. The...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

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President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...

President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...

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It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...
American Police

Shock as a US Police Department goes a whole day without shooting somebody

There was consternation across the US yesterday after the police department in Bumshart Nebrahoma went a whole day without shooting an unarmed black civilian. Heavily...

Leaked memo from US Embassy in London written in Crayon

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There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that...

Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...

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More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today. It has become the...
White House

It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House...
Trump Supporters

52% Of Trump Supporters Can’t Find America On A Map

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When it was pointed out to them exactly where America lay on the map, many of them seemed disappointed that it wasn’t the whole of North America from Mexico upwards.

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

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The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

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