Trump Airplane

Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...

28
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.

When the world Trumps, you better dodge that draft

0
Look at him. He’s the lad you thought was a prick at school but you still went round his house because he had a decent back garden for you to leck footy in. Except he was shit at it, and had right bad hayfever.

Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination

0
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Donald Trump

Trump to remove all right-wing terrorists from FBI watch-list in Operation Anti-Schindler

0
Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people...
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

0
The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

0
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...

CIA to dumb down intelligence briefings

0
The U.S. Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Dan Coats, announced on Sunday that they will be cutting down the president’s daily intelligence briefings to a maximum...

Pound Hits New High of “20 Bundles of Corn” as USA Adopts Barter System

0
The US Dollar has been abandoned and the Barter System adopted following Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Fort Knox are...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

5
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

0
American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...

Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell

0
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.

Trump Invades Iraq

0
President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...
Cosby

Bill Cosby Offers Trump PR Advice Over Sexual Assault Allegations

0
Dateline this morning, and in the face of a slew of fresh sexual assault allegations, beleaguered Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself...

Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year

0
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...

Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...

0
Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...
White Supremes

Tribute band ‘The White Supremes’ enjoying huge boost in bookings

13
The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts