Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

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The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Trump on Warship

He knew what he signed up for, says dickhead who doesn’t know what he...

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Proving once and for all that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, Donald Trump told the widow of a grieving soldier that...
Trump Walking

Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet

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WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

Bill Clinton Finally “Boss of Me” after Hillary Loss

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Bill Clinton will finally get to be “the Boss of Me” after Hilary’s stunning loss in the US Presidential Election.

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...

Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

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Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...
White House Nativity

White House Christmas card to feature Donald Trump high-fiving the Ku Klux Klan’s Imperial...

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The White House's official 2017 Christmas card will feature President Donald Trump high-fiving the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, a spokesperson confirmed...
Trump Air Force one

Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs

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A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said...
Trump Airplane

Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...

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Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.

Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

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The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

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Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

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"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Donald Trump

President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill

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Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...

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