Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported

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America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms...

US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books

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The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes

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Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...

Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws

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In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...

Trump challenges Nancy Pelosi to MMA fight

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In perhaps his most bizarre tweet ever Donald Trump has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a fight in the "Pentagon". On the eve of his expected...

Virginia to ban books instead of burning them

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Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.  To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

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Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's. It is being reported around the world...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

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New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

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Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

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An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...

Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat

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Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter. The Toddler is running for the...
Roy Moore

Roy Moore ordered to pay if he wants another go after coming in a...

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The Alabama Secretary of State has told Judge Roy Moore that he will have to finance any recount of the Senate seat vote. John Merrill...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
Man holding a gun

Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen

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Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...

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