Texas commemorates first mass shooting by giving students guns to take to school

1
To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's inaugural mass shooting event at the University of Austin in Texas law makers have passed a...
The Mooch

Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp

5
Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Sorry Trump

Donald Trump ‘very sorry’ for accidentally nuking North Carolina

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As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred. With the...

Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court

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Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault. Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’

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President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

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Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books

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The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...
Turkey

Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble

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A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble. Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...

Trump promises to help Puerto Ricans who present him with dry US birth certificates

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism of his failure to rush aid to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria by promising...

Trump Invades Iraq

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President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

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Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's. It is being reported around the world...

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