Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell

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The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.

Fact checkers are nit-picking liberal fascist pinko commies -claim Trump supporters

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Doubt is surrounding the Donald Trump presidential bid this week following Donald's bizarre lie riddled rant of an acceptance speech at the Republican Party...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

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The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...
Nuttall

Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia

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Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...
Christmas

Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas

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Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas. With...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

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Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...

Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail

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Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...

I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump

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Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

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Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...

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Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS. The order was placed...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

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Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

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POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...

We did have a Kermit at protest insist violent alt-left anti-Nazi protestors

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The anti-Nazi protestors who were in Charlottesville over the weekend have responded furiously to Donald Trump's remarks this morning releasing a statement which read. "We...
Donald Trump

White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump

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The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...

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