Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US

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In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Steve Bannon

Donald Trump to present Steve Bannon with participation medal for service to America

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“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot. Only losers get shot. Couldnt even drive own car. Bannon deserve medal for participation at White Hoise! Turned up every day even when I didn't!”

Trump sues porn star for breaching confidentiality agreement about affair he claims not to...

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Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

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Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

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Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency...
Trump Walking

Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet

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WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound

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Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.
Nuttall

Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia

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Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...
Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

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Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Donald Genius Trump

Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets

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News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several...
Donald Trump

Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead

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Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas. The gesture...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

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The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...

Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good

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The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage. Head of IT Maurice...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...

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