Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
American Police

Shock as a US Police Department goes a whole day without shooting somebody

There was consternation across the US yesterday after the police department in Bumshart Nebrahoma went a whole day without shooting an unarmed black civilian. Heavily...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

9
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes

0
Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...

The NRA are a bunch of arseholes and each and every one of them...

0
But ma guns. A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and...
Scared Office Worker

Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci

2
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

0
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...

Pound Hits New High of “20 Bundles of Corn” as USA Adopts Barter System

0
The US Dollar has been abandoned and the Barter System adopted following Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Fort Knox are...
Donald Genius Trump

Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets

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News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several...
White House Nativity

Official White House Nativity scene to feature baby Jesus with Trump’s face

0
The first image of the official White House nativity scene has been released, and it is already causing quite a stir. Every character in the...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

0
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...

Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party

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Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.   Kavanaugh, whose nomination...
Redneck

Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man

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A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...
Steve Bannon

Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices

6
Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today. A White...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

0
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

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