Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

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Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

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Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency...
Donald Trump

Trump to remove all right-wing terrorists from FBI watch-list in Operation Anti-Schindler

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Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people...

Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination

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The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

6
An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Man holding a gun

Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen

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Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...
Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

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President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...

Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination

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Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination. In yet another...
Shit Hair Magazine

Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine

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In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...

Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound

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Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.
Christmas

Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas

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Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas. With...

Hilary Clinton’s emails confirm she would have already nuked North Korea

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Further extracts reveal she had plans to construct “Wall Street on the Korean Peninsula” once the “dust and stuff has settled.”
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

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A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

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