Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...
Trump

Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters

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Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Smiling School Children

How about the right not to die at school, ask US school children

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In the wake of yet another devastating school shooting on U.S soil, American school goers have stood up to demand an amendment to the...

Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US

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In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

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President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Turkey

Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble

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A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble. Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy

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The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding...

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“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither of Charlottesville wanted to know. “You’d have whiny little left wing cuckold snowflake hippy vegetarians complaining about the damage to the grass before you so much as made it across the field and into the unarmed ranks of the alt-left fanatics.
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

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US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

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In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror

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US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Trump

People no longer surprised when Trump acts like a dick again

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The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...

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