America

America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms Liberty is originally a French national and the French let...

This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in 1896. Although there have been 14,678 individual shootings and 32,789 multiple...

Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat as can be imagined. Debate continues to rage in the US...

Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies. During a speech given to Texas flooding victims Trump said, "Can you believe the size of...

Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in the 80's. I couldn't get enough. Then in the 90's I...

The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation drawn up and abandoned by the George W Bush administration...

Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment. Whilst his Presidency has been marred by a number of controversies, FPOTUS Underwood...

The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.

Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.

Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader with great vision and understanding of viewpoints other than those of...

The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have been planning something. “That’s not even one a week!” Special Agent...

There was consternation across the US yesterday after the police department in Bumshart Nebrahoma went a whole day without shooting an unarmed black civilian. Heavily armed policeman in the US have been routinely shooting civilians...

There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border with the US. "Honestly, it's too dangerous up there. Have you...

Within the last hour the White House has announced plans to extend its controversial travel ban to unborn foetuses.  Trump’s Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, confirmed that the extension will be in place by Monday afternoon and will apply...

President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage in going into a school shooting situation unarmed had he...