Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” – a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes, or “foreign storms” as he put it.
“All this foreign air and water is just turning up without asking to,” he told a press conference, “and smashing into America’s great country, flooding the land and killing the people. And not just blacks and Muslims, but real Americans with their own cars and everything. This can’t be allowed to happen again.”
When asked what exactly he intended to do, he said, “simple. Build a wall. Keep ‘em out. And make the hurricanes pay for it.”
The familiarity of the rhetoric was not lost on any of the assembled crowd. When it was pointed out that hurricanes can reach over eight miles in height, Trump seemed unfazed.
“Then we’ll just build the wall even higher. We’ll make it . . . uh, what’s next after eight? No, forget that, I know. We’ll make it eight hundred miles high. No storm is going to get through that.”
Nor could any aircraft, unless the wall has openings in it.
“That is so cool,” Trump said. “We’ll have an entire wall around the whole country, so nobody can get in or out without my permission, including the weather.”
The gleam in his eye as he left the podium was unmistakable. I do wonder if it will still be there when someone gets round to telling him how many bricks that wall will require. Oh well, I think we all know where to find the first one.